Wat hApPeNed iN thE PaSt RemAIn In My HEart..ThANkS tO You....

2009-07-19T22:17:00.002+08:00

Your voice is so beautiful

I can listen to it all day

It just sounds so wonderful

I don't know what to say

I feel calm

I feel warm

I even feel your love

As I hear that voice

I wish I could see you now

And hear that elegant voice

To feel your comfort

To feel your ease

I would marry you so quickly

And sweep you off your feet

You are that girl

That can't be beat

I've never seen you

Or touched your skin

I've never felt your lips

Or held you tight

But I know I love you

Not because of the way you look

Or because of that sexy voice

Not because of the things you say

But because of whom you are

When we meet I will kiss you

And hold you all night

I love everything about you

Because it's you

Lots of thing have been on my mind..lately some regretful crop up my mind..

i don noe y tis thing happen..i may nv noe y i took tat direction...

in a moment of angst or folly..we can lost our senses in makin decision..

at times we tink we makin the right decision..until when the time comes

where we noe we made the wrong choice...no one noe me well xcept myslef..no one noe

my feeling xcept me..

even the strongest will be weaken..im not the strongest but oso not the weakest..im trying my best to achieve wat i can achieve rite now..hopefully within these few years i can accomplish some of the tings tat i have plan out...taking this journey to accomplish my wish n ambition will be a lonely journey..i do hope tat i can have someone wif me to accompany me on my journey..someone whu can push me when im at the verge of giving up..someone whus presence means thousands to me..only if i can find tat someone...

thinkin back..i have made wrong decisions in my life tat changed wat im goin tru..decision if i made tat were right..i would have be in easier life by now..

2009-06-22T21:48:00.001+08:00

Mayb i will stop bloggin once i start werk...

its sad things have to turn like tat...

can we salvage anythin left.........

2009-06-14T22:59:00.002+08:00

i have officially ORD!!!

Wif my pink IC wif me again after 2 years...

I FEEL GREAT!!!

ok tats it..thats the gd thing..

the bad thing is that the fruitless of job searching...

getting stress up a bit as daes goes by...

feeling the pressure of being jobless

n being seem as doin nothin!!!

while ppl arnd me are getting jobs

some are startin wif it...

its getting on me slowly tat im still having none...

im not choosy or wat...

if they doesnt need anyone...

can they just reply to me...

rather than givin me nothing..

damn man!!!!

niwae...

need money man...cash!!!

CASH!!! CASH!!!!...

JOB!!! JOB!!! JOB!!!

where are yoU!!!!!

how to continue wif my plan wif tis...

man oh man!!!

its been a long time since i had a companion...

yesterdae was an eye opener for me...

everywhere was couple...

some ppl still remind me of the past...

but

even if the foundation are strong...

buildings still collapse...

at these time like this

i nid somone whu can shed some of

the burden tat i carry...

but i find no one...

at times ppl add more their burden

more to me...and its pillin up...

I cnt turn down ppl nid of help

or a listenin ear...

how worse i was during tat time...

i will still listen or try to help

but sometimes gd deeds

doesnt help..ppl make use of it..

pity pity me...i can smile...

while can laugh...but im still human...

wif couples being so lovely yesterdae

it triggers my jealousy nerve...

it gets to me...

till azim have to calm me down...

hahaha...

so im not despo...im jst jealous...

what can i do NOW!!!!

if god is listenin to me...

can i make 2 wish only!!!

get me a job ASAP!!!
wheres my special one?

coz at times like this..

i nid a listenin ear!!!!

2009-05-28T23:17:00.002+08:00

After days of tellin myself to update tis blog...finally i make my finger do some werk..

i have decide wat i wan to do man...after months of thinkings, i finally got enlight by someone tru msn...so im tinkin of goin to tat path...n hopefully it can lead me to a better future...

Tis is wat im tinkin of doin..for now...its the tedious hell of job seaching man..so for now plan to do some part time werk wfter completin my service..have a plan of wat to do oreadi...while still looking for my full time job man..must tell myself everytime tat its not gonna be easy man..so have to be more patience...

While doin tis..will be takin up some IT courses tat the army has provided me wif..to refresh myself on the things that i learnt last 2 years...n get my brain to start werkin...n oso...try to save money as much as possible due to im tinkin of enrolling to do my private diploma...estimated i nid arnd 10k...tats quite fuckin a lot!! so anyone wan to sponsor me...tats y ..shopping trips etc have to be tone down..

I don noe wether it can werk or can happen..but tis is the overall draft that i have set for myself...its not gonna be easy..its gonna be very pain...a lot of emotional n phyically n mentally torture i have to endure..so Karim..gear urself up for more adventure in life...

haven been tat well in here too...this house has been too cloudy for a long time..im trying my best to add some light in this house..so u see...there are other aspect in my life i have to handle too...its a role i have to play n responsibilty i have to shoulder...and as man elder guy in the family, its my task to do so..so theres no complain or grumbling here....jst some werk to do...

it seems that i haven had much fun lately...ppl have been busy wif werks etc...so the time spents wif some of my camp mates n also my ORD mates have bring a smile to me..the soccer in the morning at FICO jst now..was tiring but also fun...sweats but fun..time out spent wif azim...jst hangin arnd anywhere our leg brings us...and also my buddy in camp KIM...haha...the only person who i confide my probs most..someone whu understand me more suprisinly..so tis ppl has make my time worthwhile...

thats all for now...

don noe when i will be updatin my blog anytime soon!!!

2009-05-17T14:09:00.003+08:00

In my room rite now..while at street soccer court beside my house is having some called tournament...watch some of them play and by watching it i knew a fight will happen soon...and my guess is rite...its just so typical malays when they r losing in the losin team..they must end up fightin..i know not all are like tat...jst a few bunch of loser only...

i myself hate losing..sometimes i jst cnt control my anger or temper...but im not angry wif the opponent..but most of the time angry wif myself..i hate losing especially in sports..no matter wat game...i have tis competitive streak in me...it can start from a simple kick about wif frenz...but it will end up wif a serios tone where everyone wants to win...i tink tis mentality of hatin to lose has his pros n cons...but to me its drive me more to achieve the standard i have set..even wif my soccer team..i may called myself so called newcomer but the hate of losing will make me become more vocal in the game..i may sound so rash and arguements do oftern like 2 weeks ago..but overall to me..the game has to be won when we can win...but once the game end everything ended..we don take things too personally like some ppl...

aniwae...everything must have an ending...2 years i go tru wif the guys has ended...nv knew tat they do left an important part in my life...things is diff rite now wifout them...the chalet at the Changi NAval Base was great..hanging out wif the ppl...and also the badminton session wif the guys...btw pics of the chalet will be up soon....

for now...looking for a job...hainzzz...the dreadfulness of findin a job n not knowing how will the future pent out for me!!!

2009-05-07T21:00:00.032+08:00

Pics before the story....the pictures that say millions of thing!!!

Finally the journey for some of us has ended while the others have a month left...its been 2 wonderful, torturing years for all of us...and its time we parted ways for a new journey in our life...

National Service every guy in Singapore hate this word...even me...cause we noe that during the 2 years we serve the nation we lost our freedom as a civilian..things tat we do before we enter has to be cut down or stop...but every bad things has its gd things..

I will not deny i hate NS...i lost my freedom n lost a lot of things in NS..but to look back..i have gained a lot from it..i grew more as a man...learn more in a lot of things...to be more responsible of ur actions...to learn to adapt to other people and werk as a group..having to learn that there is no I in the werd TEAM..

To me, i was attached to the best Coy n even the best platoon..nothing can changed tat...the coy was great from the officers to the commanders to the man...everyone is like a family, a brother, a friends, a buddy and more importantly we look after on another as each of is like a family..we go thru a lot as a COy..from the endless road march we had before the last 24km before we POP..the 7 days field camp at Tekong..The endless number of deployments and OVL we go tru..the ICSB 32 km March..we do walk as much as Commando...the endless running we had..the ATEC..Taiwan EX..and many many more...we go tru shit as a coy and we succeed as a coy...

My platoon...we had different kind of people wif different kind of behavior....everyone is unique in different way...

Section 1

Razzaq

Ashraf

Acap

Roger

Tommy

Wang

Section2

Ming Song

Helmie

Benson

Avis

Alvin Yuen

Alvin WOng

Section 3

ZhiQiang

Zaki

Thomas

Steve
HQ

ROy

Azim

Ying Wai

Kim

Alvin

These are my band of brothers..we go tru lots together..the bond we had as a platoon...on one can challenge as...we may look as weak..but compare to all the other platoon we held our head high all the time..even though most of the time we have no PC..we still werk as a platoon...the times we spent in our bunk together...the endless laughters ,jokes i will never forget...

Its sad that everything has to end somedae..and after this all of us will go our own way in life..no matter wat n where we are..i hope that the 2 years we spent together will be engraved in each of our hearts...cause in my heart all the memories we had will be cherished....cause those memories are priceless to me

2009-05-05T20:57:00.000+08:00

Will update on the ORD parade n my thoughts on my 2 years in NS sooonnn

Pics will be collected!!!

2009-04-12T16:10:00.003+08:00

Its been so long since i updated this blog...

its not that i don have the time to update tis blog..its just that im plain too lazy!!! well..kind of recap whats has happen..ACCT cleared left 1 more deployment before ORD...thats wat we waiting for...then everything is over...

have been going out...spent times wif Fie and maz n also my camp mates...simple outing but as usual veri fun...for the retrieveus its been so long since all of us meet...shuld meet up one dae...have been karaoking wif my camp mates..gonna miss this grp of frenz when we ORD...hopefully we keep in contact wif each other....

And also my sundae is filled wif soccer wif the Destawarriors...from me being a newcomer to become part of the team is quite great..a great grp of guys...laughters n jokes n seriousness when on the pitch...

so thats all for now..will update more

2009-03-18T23:20:00.002+08:00

Wat can i do?? At times i hope i just hope things will get better...at times i can be superman n solve peoples problems...but when my problems crop...not even one super heroes is here for me...where are all the super heroes goes!!!!!!!!!

im sick...veri sick...still have to do duty...even thought im sick...theres lot of thing that is weighing on me all the time..i want to get away frm here...i jst don want to solve all the problem rite now...pleaseeee get me away frm here!!!!!!!

All these while i may be strong...but there are only certain blows tat i can deal with...all those time i

managed to dodge the blows...but not now..with every things that is happening rite now

and my own problems cannot be solved...tis is a knockout blow to me...

theres nothing much i can do...let me run away from the problems...when it time for me to solve

the problems...i will handle the matters...for now...

LET ME RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-03-02T10:07:00.002+08:00

Ok great..there will be no weeknd for me this month!!!! SUX big time leh...no xtra off days...haiyoooo...sianz..y are they so cruel!!!!!!! hopefully im not on duty for my birthdae....

Tis so called long book out...went to karaoke wif the guys..n the dae after went for the ACE thing at Ngee Ann...Though of signin on for the Navy too...haha..mcm paham like that...oh yah..i have apply for the police n also the prison officer...hopefully one of these wants me...

things have been tight at home..im thinking for taking a part time job rite now...will discuss tis further wif the impt people...realli nid that extra cash...haiyoooo.....

2009-02-22T17:36:00.002+08:00

this week has been a veri simple n nice week for me...

Mum is getting better..but still will be worried bout her...niwae this week times was spent wif retrieveus...celebrating hisham birthdae...simple celebration but hopefully he wouldnt mind...after this week things will be less hectic in camp due to the end of ATEC..YEAH!!!! no more stoopid mundane training...

Ok as usual weekend was spend wid the destawarriors...great bunch of guys in terms of jokes n laughters...and oso each of them great soccer players n indivuals...getting attached to them since i have playing wif them almost every sundae....aniwae new jersey debut will be next month..haha...

menatap indahnya senyuman diwajahmu

membuat ku terdiam dan tepaku

mengerti akan hadirnya cinta terindah

saat kau peluk mesra tubuhkubanyak katay

ang tk mampu ku ungkapkan

kepada dirimu

reff:

aku ingin engkau slalu

hadir dan temani aku

di setiap langkah

yang meyakiniku

kau tercipta untukku

aku ingin engkau slalu

hadir dan temani aku

disetiap langkah

yang meyakini ku

kau tercipta untukku

meski waktu akan mampu

memanggil sluruh ragaku

ku ingin kau tahuku slalu milikmu

yang mencntaimu

sepanjang hidupku

2009-02-15T15:07:00.002+08:00

mom is sick again...

n todae something happen in the family...

i only hope she will get better...

i don noe wether i have done my duty well as a son...

i cnt tink of wat will happened if i lose her...

i realli don want to tink the worse...

but mom's werds jst now has awake me n so worri me...

i cant bear to leave her all alone at home...i want to accmpny her and make her happy again...

hopefully mum will get better each dae....

mood= worried n sad

2009-02-06T20:26:00.002+08:00

As days goes by..the end is coming nearer...even though it is till months not days yet..the feeling of uncertainty n lost when outside the real world is there...Am i prepared after 2 years of army..where studies was stop n everything was stagnant...my use of language in both malay n english has drop..don tok bout my brain...cause it will be too rusty to even use....in the army any language is acceptable..vulgar n words tat in the real world we hardly used or heared...in the army we follow orders tat is given whereas in outside life we had to take more initiative...it would be tat easy to transit frm an army life to the real world...i had considered lots of stuff...Such as the PRison warden,SPf,ICA and even of thinking of signin on the army...but there are still doubts on wat i realli want to do...i do not want to make rash decision...

2009-02-01T09:35:00.003+08:00

Even though its been a long time since i even other to update my blog...don tink theres nothing happen during that time...lots of thing happen...

Mum was admitted to hospital on the eve of CNY..but now shes back home..even though her health is ok..but im still worried bout her...calling her to remind her to take her medicine n oso update me on hw she is feeling has been a regularity rite now...like my frenz say..we had only one mum...its my duty to take care of her rite now...after all these ears that shes has been taking care of me my siblings...life is so fragile...u may be laughing n playing todae...but u nv noe that u might be on the hospital bed fighting for ur life the very next dae...

Congrats to my frenz who has finally had their jobs that they wanted..fie as a prison teacher while as Sham as a policeman...may ur choice in the career bear all of u a fruitful experience...for me...job hunting has started...hopefully after my ns i find a job straight away...

even though this past few dae has been tough for me..i normally had my laughter from them...thanks FIE, Sham, MAz , Aishah...for being there during those tough time... all orf ur laughters n jokes calm me during those testing time...thanks alot..appreaciate tat lots...

During those time i really want someone to pour everything out to..crying my heart in front of u...wanting those hug to calm me down...but sadly u werenot there...its time..to move on..those msgs that i have kept on my phone will have to leave...all these years tat i wasted...its time to forgo my wishes tat i wan to end my life wif u....

2009-01-13T19:32:00.002+08:00

i missing lots n lots of stuff...

missing my frenz..

missing retrieveus...

missing the old times..

missing my childhood days...

missing my primary school days...

missing my secondary school days...

missing those times i went out without worries...

missing those times when there is no responsibility on my shoulders...

missing those time playing soccer under the block or the street soccer....

missing those time when i eating ice cream without worry bout dirtyin myself...

missing those time where i wouldnt miss a single game soccer on the Tv...

missing those time where i head down to Jalan Besar to watch Adik's game...

missing that moment when i have someone to share my woes n happiness...

missing those time where i can lean my head on someone shoulders when im tired...

.....

......

........

..........

and most importantly i miss being myself......

things haven been rosy n these things play tru my mind everytime...its worse when u noe tat u cant do anything bout it...my hands are tied....i want to do somthing bout it...its that i jst cant....times i get frustrated wif myself...and try to blame others but i knew its jst to make things better for tat moments...at times i was on the verge of breaking down...but i told myself to put on a strong front..they say the more u grow the more things that u have to be responsible with...the more things that u have to worri....

how i hope things will get better sooner rather than later...cause i don want to be smiling outside but suffering inside...

2009-01-13T18:19:00.000+08:00

wont be updating anytime soon... till my comp has been operated...

COMPS DOWN!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-01-01T14:14:00.012+08:00

Hapi New Year!!!! Lets welcome 2009 and say goodbye to 2008....

It has been an eventful year in 2008..memories were taken by photos but not all of them are there...below are pics tat hold lots to me in 2008..there are others but there is no enough pics available...if u were not in the pics im sori..maybe i have overlook...i apologise...

For 2009....

Hoping tat life would be better for not only me but to all my loved ones such as my familys n frenz...may we blessed wif good health n wealth....hoping tat 2009 would be even better than 2008

Lets the pics do the talking n bring back memories of the past

Pics od new year outing will be out when the photographer have upload the pics!!!!

2008-12-27T10:44:00.002+08:00

Merry belated Xmas...

Was on duty tat dae can only go out at nite..so theres nothin to celebrate much...and since the scheldue is just up there is no worth celebrating at all...there is no rest bits till May man..wat the hell...its duty n duty through out after this so called 2 or 3 weeks break...niwae cant do anything much to it since its has finalised..so 6 more months faster faster come leh!!!!!!

Cant wait to meet the rest on the eve of new year..gonna have so much fun wif them..its gonna be let the hair loose man...after a long time..and yah i wan to do some shoppin...nid to get a jeans man...tats all...nid to save money man...

niwae...

anione wannts to intro their frenz to me?? hahahah

2008-12-21T14:44:00.003+08:00

Dear diary

im just too tired...i don noe why this duty has taken a lot of toll on me..its the same number of werk daes n off but why does it seem shorter rest n longer werk..recuperate?? none...it seems that there is no rest time for me...its hard to do stuff that i want to during this period...wishing that thie will end soon...after tat 2 more duty since we were given one more duty..thanks veri much...6 more months its over...tahan for 6 more moths and its over....

Watch Twilight yesterdae..its been a long time since i catch a movie...the movie was great...love it man...but thanks to the inconsiderate people i have a nightmare experience...people talking and kicking my seats...walao...feel like fucking them all...but lucky them i didnt want to get distracted frm the move i kept quiet...

Dear Santa..

i tink i have been good this year..can u give me my wishes...i don ask for much...hope i can have a better year next year...can i live without worries?? can i find the things im looking for...

if u can grant me this wishes...i would be grateful to you....

the PATIENT!!!

2008-12-15T13:10:00.002+08:00

Hectic weekend man..i haven slept for 48 hours straight frm saturdae to sundae man...and here i am slept less than few hours ready to go back to duty man...im totally shagged man!!!

ok enough of this...my weekend is filled wif suprises man..13th dec two of my closest birthdae..my cute little anugerah and also my not so cute old MAz!!!! hahaha..hapi birthdae to them may u all celebrate more each year....had fun wif the gang at maz chalet...updates on lifes and watsoever...thought could rest on sundae after my game...but before i had my afternoon nap for once...fie msg me tat he an accident...my dear frenz was warded luckily not seriously injured...haiyo...

niwae will update more n pics more after this man...my cute little eyes are struggling rite now

2008-12-01T18:16:00.001+08:00

BLOG under renovation!!!

2008-12-01T11:53:00.002+08:00

Firstly i would like to congrats my buddy Fie for a successful bikefest...i nv see him so shagged before..hey pal..u need lots of rest...enjoy ur rest n break cause u deserved it yah!!!

The Bikefest was fun mah...get to see diff kind of bike...bike,design n things tat i nv seen before was even there...if only i could own one of tat...

All this while i have overlooked the things i want to do and the places i want to go...thats y sometimes i find going out was a bore...there are los of places that i want to go where i can relax...cause sometimes a gateaway is better than confession....while things haven been rosy at home n camp..i just need a break frm here...where i can let my inner self have peace..cause i have been patients all the time n im worried tat one dae i cant hold on anymore...

this is want i have been wantin to go n do...

a sentosa trip wif my frenz
underwater world
cable car ride
go karting
singapore flyer
a trip to the zoo
catch a movie
holiday
a trip to hendeson bridge

and thats more...even if wrote down all of it..it will never end...u see..these are things tat nomally people are going n doing...but i haven been to this places or doing for a long time...i have miss out of all of this due to lots of stuff...i want to do all of this...i want to get away frm here...there are too many things tat i hate rite now...

i find this jay chou song nice...the lyrics is quite touching...haha..got eng subb mah!!!

Where Is Our Promised Happiness? (Shuo Hao De Xing Fu Ne )

ni de hui hua ling luan zhe, zai zhe ge shi ke

Your reply is still reverberating chaoticly, at this point of time

wo xiang qi pen quan pang de bai he, tian me san luo le

When I thought of the white doves beside the fountain, the sweetness is scattered

qing xu mo ming de la che, wo hai ai ni ne

My feelings are inexplicably dragging on, I realised that I still love you

er ni duan duan xu xu chang zhe ge, jia zhuang mei shi le

And yet you continue singing this song, pretending that everything is alright

shi jian guo le, zou le, ai qing mian lin xuan zhe

Time has passed and walked away, and there's a choice to be made when it comes to love

ni leng le, juan le, wo ku leYou're becoming apathetic and tired, and I cried

li kai shi de bu kuai le, ni yong ka pian shou xie zhe

You wrote a card describing the unhappiness when you left

zen me le, ni lei le, shuo hao de, xing fu de

What happened, you're tired, where is our promised happiness?

wo dong de, bu shuo le, ai dan le, meng yuan le

I understand, so there's no point talking anymore; our love has become bland and my dreams have become farfetched

kai xin yu bu kai xin, yi yi si shu zhe, ni zai bu she

Counting carefully the times of happiness and unhappiness that you won't let go

na xie ai guo de gan jue dou tai shen ke, wo dou hai ji de

I still remember very clearly the feeling of having loved

ni bu deng le, shuo hao de, xing fu ne

You stopped waiting; where is our promised happiness?

wo cuo le, lei gan le, fang shou le, hou hui le

I was wrong; my tears have dried; I have let go; and have regretted

zhi shi hui yi de ying yue he hai xuan zhuan zhe, yao zen me ting le

But that musical box containing the past is still turning, and how do I stop that?

2008-11-27T14:24:00.002+08:00

Its dusty arnd here man...i have been wanting to update this blog but after days of lazing arnd not wanting to tired my little finger i decide to update now..haha..since my leave is finishin soon and worse back to duty n KINs...tats means irregular off n worse Christmas or New Year burnt..and also scared cnt celebrate "SOMEONE" birthdae tat fall on the 13th...(maz jgn nk senyum)...

Niwae update in life...things haven been going smoothly as i expected...maybe wif all this recession everything n everyone is having their moods swings...so for mi..has been spending my time labouring at tis comp...pity him tat when everytime im at home he have to overwerk...been watching dramas after dramas just to keep myself entertain...or hanging out wif frenz...my buddies frm the army...great bunch of guy...for the retrieveus..mit them to celebrate lyn birthdae...its hard for all of to mit now...due to each busy scheldue...so whenever we mit..its time for us to keep each other updates in life n the things tat happenings...

i was browsing tru my pics at my comp when i went tru her pics...while lookin at them..the feelins of wanting her came to me...y after all tis years i have been hesistant to tok to her...do i slump in tis despair since i cnt get totally over it...years have gone...but the feelings remain the same...is this love or is this infatuation..y just y....

2008-11-23T15:10:00.002+08:00

The block leave was quite FUUNNNN!!!!! haha...its been long time since i have this long rest..well deserve i say!!! woooo!!! but all good things have to come to end..so todae have to book in for tomolo IMT worse...tomolo book out and another 4 days more of block leave!!! WEEE!!!!and fridae have to do guard duty...sianz LEH!!!!!!!!

its fun hanging out wis this grp of people...wif our diff background and ways of life...tis grp of ppl that im gonna stick wif 7 more months...nv regrets mixing wif them....hopefully oour friendship continue even after this 2 years!!!!

2008-11-12T09:49:00.020+08:00

Some Pictures of Taiwan...

Yes...im back from the 2 week hiatus...Taiwan was great even thought the training is tough...but overall it was fun..like they say after all the hard work and all the goals that u have achieved u will received the satisfaction that nothin money cant buy...its not bout the RNR that make this trip wondeful but the camaraderie and the effort that everyone puts in in everyting...the sweats blood and also tears that we shed was worth it every single bit of it...i was passive at first before we heading to taiwan but after this i glad that i went there with open mind and also completed everyting that was set upon me...even though it was mentally and physically drain..away from ur comfort of home and also ur family and ur daily neccessities it was tough...but we all prevail for 2 weeks..they say tough time don last but tough men do...i agree wif it...even the weakest among us prevail to the end..its just not the section or the platoon but tis the company who prevail to the end...we got FUck as one but oso received our compliments as one...this trip was an eye opening for me...the end of conventional for me till ORD..it was something thats hold dear to my heart..the long walk...the running n shouting for cover...the tiredness n everything that makes the whole package was something that will never be forgotten by me...maybe this will be my first and last in taiwan but if i ever went there again..i will remember those time i spent there...

We shed bloods and sweats as one

These are the guys who make things happen

The Sun is where we gather all our strength when we need most

2008-11-10T22:45:00.002+08:00

Cinta dalam hati

Mungkin ini memang jalan takdirku

Mengagumi tanpa di cintai

Tak mengapa bagiku asal kau pun bahagia

Dengan hidupmu, dengan hidupmu

Telah lama kupendam perasaan itu

Menunggu hatimu menyambut diriku

Tak mengapa bagiku cintaimu pun adalah

Bahagia untukku, bahagia untukku

Reff:

Ku ingin kau tahu

Diriku di sini menanti dirimu

Meski ku tunggu

Hingga ujung waktuku

Dan berharap rasa ini kan abadi untuk selamanya

Dan izinkan aku memeluk dirimu kali ini saja

Tuk ucapkan selamat tinggal untuk selamanya

Dan biarkan rasa ini bahagia untuk sekejap saja

2008-10-24T17:47:00.017+08:00

Let the pics do the talking for a while...

2PDF family day...

Aishah Birthdae..

Cohesion DAYS!!

My cock up buddy!!!

My lil nephew...

some of my picss....

This 2 weeks is about fun n relaxin..lots of activity goin on..lots of catching up done wif frenz...and also lots of getting to noe more bout each other esp for my plattoon mates n buddies...for me this is the best 2 week that i have ever had for a long time...its not bout the fun that im talking about..its about the quality of the time we had even though it was a short moments or ever but its these little time that you will not forget....i treasure all this time coz its meaningful to me...

From the family day to Aishah birthdae celeb even though it fall on the same dae..i managed to lat hair down even though it was tiring...i enjoyed every bits n pieces of it...from the jokes and the wilful plaing of my mates at the faimly daes to the laughter n playful of the retrieveus...what more can i ask for...not much...just that no one erase these memories frm me...

Will be heading to taiwan tomolo...finally after 1 years plus of waiting...its time to go there n had fun and also werk hard...hope i can get all the strength i needed for these 2 weeks from the 2 weeks that just passed....the past 2 weeks will be the strength that i needed to bring me tru this 2 weeks....and most importantly come home safetly...

just want to tell all those ppls that im gonna miss u...evn thought its for 2 weeks...u thinks it cliches...but once u went tru without having these impt personels in ur life all of the sudden that u noe how much they mean to u...every single bits of them.....

thats all for now..will be updating back once i return frm taiwan thats on 9 november 0120hrs....

pray for me guys!!!

2008-10-19T17:00:00.002+08:00

Im BACK!!!!

its been a long hiatus from me..im glad that im back home...nothin is much sweeter than being at home..but...i wont be home for long cause next sat is ROC...its fast..just a blink in the eyes its time for ROC...don even noe wether im mentally or physically prepared for it...cause its will take a lot of toll on me..furthermore im too tired..haven had enough n complete rest...so had to use all this time to recuperate myself...

niwae yesterdae bbq celebration for one of the retrieveus..the most noisest of all...AIShah...hey may all ur wishes n dream come true yah...i cnt celebrate ur birthdae on the actual dae..so hopefully my presence wouldnt be that missed...

niwae...will update again before i went another 2 week hiatus!!!

2008-10-01T18:59:00.002+08:00

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!!!!

For all Muslim selamat hari raya!!!

Niwae..celebration start n celebration over within ferw hours...

reality start rite now...will be away for 14 days....

will only be back on the 15th..so this two weeks lots of stuff going tru..

Field camps,route march...luckily i complete my SOC....

and preps for ROC...it was a while ago i think that ROC is fun

but now its coming nearer n nearer i hae second thoughts bout it...

It will be fun but also tiring...how bout that...

will update more when im back after 2 weeks..

for now..enjpy ur holidae out there ppl!!!

i will only celebrate my HARI RAYA next year!!!!

2008-09-24T10:42:00.002+08:00

Oct is gonna be a testin period for me...i gonna be away for 2 weeks after the 2nd day of raye that mean i will be back home only on the 15th or 14th...after that will head down to Taiwan on the 25th...so u can count how mant times i will be at home in 2 hands...u see this gonna be sucks...cause can get homesick leh....nvm...once its over..its over....have to be patient for this month...so guys...i wont be be updatin my blog anytime soon...or u may not even here for me anytime soon...

met the guys yesterdae after a long tyme...have our buke at Mak's place at kembangan..the food is ok...3/5...haha...more important is that we managed to catch up wif each other hectic life...as usual fun was the agenda and we realli have it yesterdae...

oh yah..im gonna get a new hp soon...make up my mind...for a new speccs make it after ROC..for now a new hp is needed...i don noe wat phone to grab....e71 is nice...so do other phones..haha...nvm..see wats there to offer then i grab it!!!...

2008-09-14T18:50:00.002+08:00

Dream or Nightmare..

i dreamt that u were by his side...just like last time...u were happily with him while i just watch u by the side...the worse thing is that u don even notice me by the side...u were happily walking with him by the side...

i woke up in sweats...noeing that i don noe wether its real or just another nighmare for me...who noes while im typin this post..u beside of him enjoying urself...arms twined with each other...whispering sweet dovey at each other ears...maybe this is what happening its just that i don noe...we are miles apart from each other...we cant considers our selves frenz cause frenz will update each other on whats happenin..we are just like clouds...sometimes we chat sometimes we not....

its just like all the time we bump into each other...how many times we have bump into each other in public...and all the time we went our opposite ways...sometimes i wonder does god forbid us to be together...or its just that we are not meant for each other....

if god forbids us to be together...i will make sure if i left this earth...i will ask him y he forbid us to be together...or is it we are meant to be together but there are just barriers that are stoppin us...

there are things that i realli want and i will work hard to get it n i noe how to get it...but for u..im just lost at junction...LOST...don noe what to do next....

2008-09-07T16:51:00.002+08:00

Cant believe that this blog its gonna be 3 years old soon...

From the start i never thought blogging will be part of me...i never intended to have this blog for so long..but once i started blogging..it seems addictive...not only that i can share my joys to others...i can also express my view on certain stuff...most importantly to me i can express my sorrow n the thoughts that has always goes tru my mind....

this blog has become part of me...sometimes its brings conflict and also misunderstanding...sometimes it brings displeasure to other ppls...no matter wat this blog has been there and done that...

enough of it...

what to look for next week???

Pay DAY
Shopping??
Bukeing kat luar
MAnchester Uited VS LIverpool MAtch

Don have plan yet...don noe wether the bukeing outside with the retrieveus has confirm...niwae ppl...need someone to accpny me to shop!!! anione???

who gladly accept companion....hahaha

2008-09-03T17:22:00.002+08:00

Fastin month is here..

i don want to emphasize how important the month is to all muslim.. cause we just knew how important it is...

Niwae..a month to go before Taiwan...it make seems far away...but i started to have jitters on thinking bout the trip...all of us haven been doing conventional for quite a while...and looking on it..we realli need to buck up...cause it wont be easy on all of us...the R&R is an incentive for all of us...

Its been a quiet time for me...never realli go out etc...its time for a body maintenace...i want to go for a massage...any recommendation?? looking back...im gonna ord in 9 months times...for people...its still long..but for me its actually quite fast...in a few days time..a 2nd new batch of recruit will enter the camp...just how it started a year ago for me...have to start of thinking what to do after ORD...people are having difficulty in finding jobs after ORD..need to have plans....so that i wouldnt waste any time after ORD....im not getting any younger...how i want to live in the future will start by myself and it is soon....

thats it for now..will update again...

im suprised to received ur msg before i break my fast on the first dae of fastin...

i hope u will msg me everydae...cause its been a long time..

remember the first raya outing for both of us...

i still have the picture of it....

we were still young...

i hope we can go back to that time....without having

to move to the future.....

2008-08-25T17:48:00.002+08:00

Wat a week...

from the karaoking n firewerk on fridae and to the aftermath of the AHM.....its been so long since i had this much much fun...would like to thanks the people who made my valuable off meaningful...

on Fridae...was the karaokeing n the firewerk dae with the cliques...wat to say...when u hang out wif this bunch of ppl..there are no dull in the group vocabularly...its fun after fun after fun...the firewerk was nice...worth all the wait...it was superb..if only i can see the firewerk with someone speacial...haha...

Sundae was the AHM...met lots of ppl there...frm Wee Yap, to Zahir, to Mato(deejayin the dae), and my old Pc Sir Razali....the run was some sought ok...nv run the whole stretch..cause promise myself not to perspire cause im going out later after that..so mostly i walk tru out the thing..haha..after that went out wif my mates...did some shopping and i went over the budget...more than $100 are spent....oopsstt...but something a little bit of indulge on myself is good for me....though of buying the shoes...but don have my size..shit the aunty!!! NvM..will get it next month...haha...

oh yah....wont be going home tis week..guard duty leh on sundae..and CMPB tower climb on sat...

and fastin is comin soon...ooppsstt

NExt month shopping list....

Shoes
My pants( 3 of it)
Shirts
and some other stuff........

2008-08-13T01:57:00.002+08:00

Signing ON.....(sigh)

One thing that is good when doin deployment is that everyone is in relaxed mood and u don have to be so tense up when u are in camp..during these time we as men are able to talk to our Sir in a frenz to frenz tone..

Me and my mates while sitting down with our O.C and also the P.C we had dicussion on the things that are coming up when this deployment end in a week time...we had the usual banters among us n one of us ask them wat make them sign on army and become regular....

My O.C do it for passion...he was from Commando Unit posted to us now is a Captain...went tru lots and the whole company envy his CV....to him money is just another thing but serving the army is his passion...whereas the PC was a different story...he decide to become regular because he need the money...its all bout the money...he shuld ord 4 years ago but now he gonna ord years laters....my oh my...

it has always play in my mind wether i want to sign on or not...the amount that they dangle around us is more than a lots....50k to sign on for 5 years....plus they payback our pay...do ur maths and thats a lot....there are pros and cons to sign on...but mostly the cons are stacking heavily on the pros....am i going to give up my freedom for 50k??? i cant even tahan this 2 years...wat about 5 years??? but the money is too much to think about...and the incentives and benefits that are given...wow...thats a lot to describe....but if i were even to sign on...it will be because of the money not because i want to give another 5 years of my life to the army...not for the passion but for the money.....

i cant wait to have my weekend back...its weird having off dae during weekdays...haha...and also its been a long time since i play soccer...i miss my weekend soccer...not only that...i miss a lot of stuff...i didnt get to celebrate the national dae not even watching it cause im doing duty..while millions of peoples are celebrating...the small minority of us are keeping Singapore Security....hainz...but what we get are peanuts compare to all of them whu just watch us m do nothing but complain and trying to get us in trouble...

i like this life right now...single not worry bout stuff..having time all to myself and also having enough money to myself....but i wonder how long i would want to lead this life...thought i have no one in my head rite now but people will always say that theres someone in my heart...its been a while or even longer...i knew that things wouldnt be able to happen between us...its just like a dream...where for so long that that i fantasise and not wanting to wake up....i have realised that things cant be like this cause its hurting me more than ever...its alwys have been my fantasise and my dreams to have her back...but as i look and compare myself to her...we are miles apart maybe in terms of thinking and also status...not only that...she deserved someone better that me...much more better.....i have been trying to relive the past..when im wif her and also L...cause both of them are the type of person im looking for...i was hoping n hoping for them cause till now i cant find someone that can come close to them...no one has sweep me off the floor like what they did to me...no one have come close to attract my attention for me to have a 2nd or the 3rd look on them and telling myself shes the one for me.....maybe its time for me to bid farewell to the past cause i just cant try reliving the past...its the FUTURE.....wat was then was then...maybe i will never find another person like them...cause they are one in a million...one in a million...which i lost my grasps on it...

y does people fall in love easily but not me?? there are so many WHY playing in my mind...but theres no answer to all my question....sometimes i just want to give up on love...but looking at the msgs n my littles cranes that they left me....what i want is just something simple...to find someone who i realli feel comfortable with...where i will have no probs letting her see me cries in person...letting my hearts out on anything....telling her wats on my mind and what i have went tru...where the pain are too much for me to bear it at times...the one who want i can let it out without having doubts...someone who can make me express myself more...someone who i can proudly show n present her to my parents....cause when i did that...she will be the ONE for me......

2008-08-07T12:40:00.003+08:00

Everything that WENT ALL WRONG!!!!!

Wat a bad week i had...from having a spoilt mp4 for the whole week n my psp memory card spoilt on the 3rd dae of the week and also encountered that "thing" to not being able to attend ayam engagement's....haiyo!!!!! its SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Niwae able to release some stress up by going out yesterdae wif my clique...simple n casual outing...like it...hate it when theres not enough money in my pocket to shop....seeing all the nice stuffs but unable to get it....really frustrating...haha...

2 more weeks left and this deployment end!!! cnt wait anymore!!! its veri tiring and mundane oreadi!!! need some time off!!!! need time to pamper myself...cant wait for my off!!!! wEEeeEEEee!!!!!

GeeeEESSS!!! im putting on weight leh!!! fUCK!!!!!!!!!!! im getting fatter!!! damn....must hit the gym oreadi leh....haiyo...see lar cnt control wat i eat...everything also want to eat...hahahha...GYM!!! here i come!!! hopefully i wont be so lazy when i at the gym...hahaha.....

tk bersalah pon kene marah..sial btol...tu pon nk kene pauto
ka per...mapek siak...tkleh kene cikit dudok sebelah hospital lar..klao tk
suke
jgn bace..tutop mate je...sial btol...GERAM!!!

2008-08-01T12:01:00.004+08:00

Braggy??? NO!!!!!!!!

Wat a blast!!! Met up wif the people yesterdae!!! its been such a long time n we realli have

the time of our life...as usual throughout the dae..it was filled wif laughter and jokes...

plus the usual craps that we play on each other...we update on stuffs n whats happenin

and also gossip on certain areas...yah!!! i gossip too!!!! hahaha...whos say guys cant gossip!!!!

i would like to say that it was a suprise to me that im become so attach wif this group of people...

Back then in sec school, i seldom tok to them...except for fie lar...but now its different..

they become some sought like my 2nd family...where i can be myself n let loose without to worry

about anything else...they have become my pillar of strength...even thought our friendship are just like 4 years plus...its has more foundation there some friendship that some of us made which is longer than that...

maybe true friends stay by urside no matter what happen whereas ordinary frenz will leave ur side

when they have met someone else...we normally say that frenz are forever...but normally the one who says

that are the one who contradictin themselves...(aim to no one in particular)..no on is irreplaceable...

we as the grp the RETRIEVEUS treat all frenz the same...we bear no grudges or hatred...BUT!!!!

we do have limitation...no matter what happen...i believe we will stick as one grp..cause thats wat frenz

for..goodbye to all the pretenders!! cause there are no space for any of u in our grp....

BRAGGY??? NO!!! (the most qoutable qoute yesterdae!!!)...cant wait for our next outing that will be on the 22 August!!! we will be karaoke-ing plus watching the firework(its a must for MAZ!!!)

confirm will be happening...haha..there is no boredom when we met!!! hahahaah

YEs!!! i got the engagement invitation for ayam engagement...i don noe wether i can go..

cause im on duty ler..YES!!! im on duty on NAtional dae....serving the nation while the rest are

celebratin...what the heck!!! but its ok..left how many months left and then ORD ORh!!!

its a pity some people willing to serve the army throughout their whole life...some passion on doin this..

whereas mostly its for the money and then they fuck OFF!!! geess....i don called themselves heroes or wat..

cause its thier choice on continue wif this vocation...before i call them heroes..lets get the meaning of

heroes correct...(wikipedia = A hero came to refer to characters that, in the face of danger and adversity or from a position of weakness, display courage and the will for self sacrifice..) so chim..

I heard frm my parents that my grandpa is angry..cause all of his beloved grandchild hasnt live

up to their expectation...the latest i heard is that one of my cousin was caught by the police

for stealing....ciggarette!!!! what the fuck!!! and hes on bail..and there are other things that are happenin

where my family have been untouched..thats good!!! cause i have never see them as my family...

to grandpa!!! im sorry that things have turned out this way..maybe this is the retribution to wat

u have do to my family and also the whole family...its sad to see that ur own child have conflict

that are so deep among each other that to the fact that they seem to not know each other...
this is wat malay say putus keluargaan...but i will never forgive u for what u did to my family...

not only u...but also to my aunts n uncles who crossed my family path...don wori i will not

acknowledge all of u as how u did to my family...but a warning to all of u...once more u

say or done anything to my family..i make sure ur life will never be the same again....

niwae...lets end this in a good note..lets the pic do the tokin!!!

My 2nd family

And the unglam pics of the dae!!!

2008-07-25T23:30:00.002+08:00

"Fate play a part in love"

I agree to that lots..How many relationship that u had in your life...if u are not fated to be with that person no matter how much both of u do and sacrifice its no point...

Since i was free todae..i did some touch up on my area..i browse thru my old school year books, olds pics and memento..it brings lots of memories...i read all teh cards that Liping gave me...the birthdae cards..the encouragement cards for me..the present that she gave me...mostly her present are still wit me..the soccer ball clock...most importantly the bottle that is filled with colorful cranes are still on my tabletop...it will never left my sight since i brought it home and it has never been touched or change before..what she gave to me was what the bottle is rite now..of all the present i had receive in my whole life..the bottle is one of the most valuable present in my life..i will not trade it for anything...i feel grateful that she took time to fold me the crane..

i also read all the letter i received from Sabi...from the first letter tat we get to noe each other to the break up letter.."love letters" how long was that..where got people send love letters nowadays...haha...nevertheless...those letters are well kept in an envelope...those too are precious...cause its from someone who captivated my heart by her smile..too bad what i want doesnt materialise...

and also those many pictures that i took on my last hurrah...those many2 pics are still in my laptop and also comp...those pics we took are something that i will kept...

Even thought the relationship i had with these peoples doesnt last..but i thank each and everyone of them cause i grew up and learnt lots in every relationship...every relationship are differents cause the personnel are different...but what remains the same is me...how i have to adapt to changes in surroundings when im in relationship is utterly up to me...maybe this is the part where i fail miserably...a learning curve...this is what i tell myself...

At my age where people looks to settle down and find their perfect one so called perfect one...i still looking for the one...someone told me this "the more you search for your perfect one...the more u fail cause it will come to you it is just that u never noticed or fail to grab their chance...while no matter what i cnt see myself settlin down soon...cause there are too many things that i have to do..seeing howw hard that i have to work to survive in this country and how the world changings im scared to have a partner realli...i don even noe wether i can survive by myself in this world what more having a partner or a child....i wouldnt settle down till everything is in place where i noe that my future family will be well taken off...for that...its still so far and long....

for now...im happy with wat im doing...i don care what people tok bout me or what has people done to tarnish my name...im still me n always be me...im stick to my policy n my belief...i will not try to gain people sympathy and contradictin myself..morever whatever happen or has happen i never ignore or throw my frenz aside...i may gain their wrath with my actions but i respect them n nv had ill feelings for them...love come and go but ur frenz always will by ur side no matter what...this is waht i learnt n my belief...its a pity that u push ur frenz aside just becoz u had a companion...its a pity coz they are there for u n now u forget bout them...well thats life n thats people...u just have to live with that....

thats all for now...

2008-07-19T13:13:00.002+08:00

"MUKE PECAH SIAK!!"

This was the sentence tat caught the whole gang laughing while one of my frenz was looking at my psp..haha...it was so impromptu n worse it come from a chinese frenz who is well verse in malay...haha..

Ok..last week finally meet up wif saf n fiq...its a pity that ayam cant join us dut to the preparation for his engagement..haha...niwae...its been so long since i meet saf..he grows sideway n backway too much..haha...seeing him like that makes me worried what will happened to me after ORD...haha...i don want to be FAT!!!! haha...niwae...had fun wif them..as always update bout each other story n oso had to tell saf what happen to my love life..haha...thanx for his words..thought i had get over it...his words are some sought of a comforting to me...this came from a guy whos has umpteem number of relationship n finally he settle down wif this gal..haha...hopefully what u wish for my dear frenz really fulfill...next year u said lets see!!!!

SAf was asking me when i gonna to settle down finding my perfect partner...and i was down there looking stunned...settle down with my perfect partner...whats the definition of a perfect partner to me?? the look of Jessica ALba..the body of Angelina Jolie..hahaha..thats my definition of my partner...Saf was worry bout me not finding the rite after all these years...how worried my dear frenz is...cause im the youngest among the group and whereas the others are some sought settle down with their partner..im still being single n cnt find one...he ask me bout S...since i told him the story he ask me how im wif S...this is wat most of my frenz will ask me since i become single...if i had something on with S during those time...i wouldnt be alone n looking for gal frenz..hahaha...i would have straight away ask her for her hand in marriage...hahaha....nothing is on with me n her...we are merely frenz...haha....haiyo...anyone want to intro me their gal frenz?? hahaha...

Niwae i cnt go to ayam engagement and also celebrate the national day...while duty is duty...cnt do anything...4 more weeks to go...my god...i cnt go crazy counting down...n yah..the scheldue for taiwan is oso out too!!! Looking forward for the R&R but not looking forward to the training and exercise!!! gonna die....yah..im saving my money for taiwan cause i noe i will be shopping there...hahaha...

Doing a 12 hour shift with ur fellow frnez..it came no suprises if we discussed n tok bout our life...this is where problems are being told...

"Promises" its easy to say it...

but have u fulfil n kept all ur promises that u make...a promise to ur parents that u will be a good child..a promise to ur partner that u gonna love her forever...a promise to urself that u gonna change to be a better person...but have u reallly kept this promises...maybe among 10 promises u made...u only fulfil 1 or 2 of it...i make lots of promises in mylife....and it seems that i cant keep this promises or even fulfil it...so wats the point of promises...its a same as a wedding vow..isnt that a promises made too...but why is that the number of divorce is going up...isnt this a broken promises...don even say in a relationship...u can say to that someone how much she meant to u love u etc...but at the end of the dae..u break up wif her...

thats all for todae....or this week maybe...

wooo...cnt see myself wif her...geeez shes chnage to the @#$&#

2008-07-06T16:47:00.002+08:00

Soccer again this morning as usual....went up to Simei there Changkat Changi Sec...reached there and saw a familiar face...it is Nordin..my sec skul mate cousin...i ask where is my sec skul mate Azman..he was supposed to play todae but he went oversea...haha..what a small worl after all..hahaha...aniwae..we won...n i finally score my first goal!!! haha..so happy!!!

aniwae...6 weeks of long deployment..haha...and after that will be taiwan...n yah will be goin to taiwan on 25th October till 15th November...

yesterdae went out to accompany azim to shop..have to restrain myself for not shopping..have to save mah...cant shop all the time..haha...but i still want to get the shoes...

thats all for now!! update u next WEEK!!!

2008-06-28T18:46:00.002+08:00

Its been a while since i last have the time to blog...its show how busy life have been for me...aniwae..this little time left i have rite now...its time to update what have been going on the last few weeks...

1stly im proud to say that i have completed my ICSB..and have the badge proudly sew on all my uniform...when the tough time come only the tough man will survive..and im glad i did that..and also my plattoon...these ppl have been great for me..their drive n encouragement for one another keep all of us going....even thought not all of us have that badge...but all of us deserved a pat on the back..we did well...

2ndly...i will be going back on deployment duty next 2 week..and i have that cause my off will be so cock up...weekend will be burnt again and again..damn...and before that...training has been on the level up since the ICSB end...All this is to gear up for the 2nd year..and yah..im left witf one year of my army life...tats fast!!!

3rdly...things have been going well at home..daddy is slowly recovering n that put some some ease back to me...hes back to his old self...hahaha...

4thly...its been a long time since retrieveus hang out...and its also been so long since my guys frenz met up...its sad that all of us rite now have been busy till the neck..while the retrieveus are busy wif FYP n also werk..while my guys frenz are busy wif werk for their engagement n marriage...werking life and adulthood look so scary!!! im on tat path rite now!!! damn!!!!!! aniwae frenz..even though we are busy with our own life..u are being missed by me!!!

of all days...when im bored at home...finally i recieved ur msg...ur msg was funny that it crack a smile on my bored face...u always brighten up my days...thanks...its been so long...so long...u don noe how much i yearn for ur msges....everydae i look at the phone hoping to recieved ur msg...most of the time i was dissapointed...but not todae..

I want to get that ZARA shoe and also that shirt plus that pants!!!! oopstss!!!

2008-06-14T22:19:00.002+08:00

Finally we deserved our break...our long break...from thursdae till tomolo...i noe its gonna be over soon...but this is the time when most of us are recharge...next week will be the ICSB...Tekong here i come...32km i try to conquer..haha...i cant promise u that i will completed the march cause there are many series of event during the march..so cnt promise much...haha...

Niwae did some shopping therapy...haha..went out wif 2 of my plattoon mates..along the way we accidently bumpt to 3 of my plattoon mate n the 6 of us hang out together after that...alll of us did our little shopping..n yeah i got my first ZARA shirt..haha...in all i got 3 shirts..haha...ok must stop spending...its been quite a while since i went out to town..so letting my hair down..enjoying the scenery of gals and also the changes that take places..its a pity tat i didnt get to hang out with my close buddies this time...but i got no complaint...i need some fresh air...and i get it yesterdae..

News of 2 serviceman that recenty pass away will jolt lots of people...i think its time that really took a serious look in this..from the medical checkup to the training programme...a young life has lost serving the nation...

aniwae next week after our icsb is another long break for us again...looking forward to that before we head into the next phase..1 more year to ORD!!! few more months to Taiwan..m looking forward to there...training n also exploring the place...

its been 2 weeks..u gone for so long...when will u come back..will you kept the promise that u will msg me when u r back?? i waiting...

2008-06-06T11:00:00.002+08:00

i don noe wether its coincidence or what...

whenever u noe that i goin to be away for so long...u will suddenly appear for so long to brighten up my dae..whatever problems n fatigueness im suffering on tat moment..u rejuvenated me n brougth smile on my face..

i promised myself that i would try not to fall in love again...its too tired going tru all the false dawn and never find the right one..but whenever u appear..i have serious doubt bout my vow...its been years n i have never forget bout you...i even have the belief that we will never met or tok to each other again..but things changes..maybe fate brings us closer...maybe fate is playing a game on both of us...maybe this is the love that both of us are craving for or maybe this is just infatuatuion...i want to be with u for the rest of my life...thats wat i want since we went together back in sec school life..and that is want i want till now...i have been in tunnel which is filled with false hope..i don want this to be one it too..

u ar in holiday rite now in bali...u say that u will msg me when u are back from holidae...i will wait for the msg...i will wait for u...cos i have fall for you again...

i have been dragging my feets to duties..not only me so too the others...we are damn tired...our enquiries are not answer so we have to drad our tired body till the end of the month...or even worse till August...

2008-06-01T13:35:00.002+08:00

Its been a while since i last blog...quite a while...

Firstly i would like to say Hapi birthdae to my dear frenz Shafie...thought it was last week didnt have time to blog bout it...hapi 22th birthdae may all ur wishes n dreams come true...sori that i cant make it on that dae...

Secondly..Daddy hasnt been feeling that well..he was admitted to hospital for a week n would have his ops this coming fri..worried for his health..daddy hasnt been the same..looks thin n sick...haiyo..worried bout him everytime in camp n during training....always ask my sis or mum bout his condition...*pray* that everything goes smoothly after the op...

thirdly...my frenz marly was admitted to hospital too...hey take care of urself and of course ur leg...don wori bout missing school..cause ur health is more important...so recover well...

lastly to retrieveus..its been a while since we met n hang out...all of us are busy with our life n projects..but hopefully in between this busy time...we can spend our time togethaer like we normally do...*smile*

And for me..i would not be coming home till i don noe yet..thanks to MSK im on duty again..hopefully he die oreadi...and yah..all this training n duty plus things that have been going on has tire me lots...sometimes i cant bare to gon on for a dae..i need time to play...i need a getaway i need it now....too tired to carry on...how ong can i go on like this...i don noe myself...maybe not long...

mood = moody *tired*

2008-05-20T10:31:00.001+08:00

AYAT-AYAT CINTA
♥Desir pasir di padang tandus
♥Segersang pemikiran hati
♥Terkisah ku di antara
♥Cinta yang rumit
♥Bila keyakinan ku datang
♥Kasih bukan sekadar cinta
♥Pengorbanan cinta yang agung
♥Ku pertaruhkan
♥Maafkan bila ku tak sempurna
♥Cinta ini tak mungkin ku cegah
♥Ayat-ayat cinta bercerita
♥Cinta ku padamu
♥Bila bahagia mulai menyentuh
♥Seakan ku bisa hidup lebih lama
♥Namun harus ku tinggalkan cinta
♥Ketika ku bersujud
♥Bila keyakinanku datang
♥Kasih bukan sekadar cinta
♥Pengorbanan cinta yang agung
♥Ku pertaruhkan
♥Maafkan bila ku tak sempurna
♥Cinta ini tak mungkin ku cegah
♥Ayat-ayat cinta bercerita
♥Cinta ku padamu
♥Bila bahagia mulai menyentuh
♥Seakan ku bisa hidup lebih lama
♥Namun harus ku tinggalkan cinta
♥Ketika ku bersujud
♥Ketika ku bersujud

Normal routine will resume 2dae till ICSB end...will wait for the next deployment that will be 7 weeks of deployment...and after that which will be around August when the next two company take over us...and yah..Taiwan is up after that...cnt wait to feel the experience there...

2008-05-14T01:50:00.002+08:00

Too tired...too tired...people may not noe what im goin tru..but inside me...my body system is failing..its just too hard for me to function all the time...its not that im sick even though i fallin sick rite now..its that im not having the sufficient rest for my body to recover..its always on the go all the time...how much can my body take?? i hope that my body will not suffer a breakdown...not enough rest etc....not a healthy way of living...furthermore....everything is so hectic n rush tempers will flare all the time...emotion will be hard to keep intact...and people get too tight up n stress...there is no outlet for us to channel all our frustration n everything is normally kept inside....

Todae accompany fie to shop for his stuff n after that at nite miting the others...its just another short n simple meet up which hasnt been that often like before...a simple n casual meet up like this are the one which will keep the bond between us strong...niwae...by going out and meeting them..i can forget whats on my mind n shoulder n for once relax one corner type...but once everything is over all the things that are on my mind crept back slowly...slowly killing me inside...

Niwae...for people who whu want to noe what my status are rite now...im still SINGLE...haven had someone in mind yet...even though the feeling for S is there...i cnt deny that...but those dream of me n her together are so far fetched..i will n never dream bout that cause dreams are opposite of reality....so i wouldnt want to dream anything regarding that....and also..im not someone who want to be in love that much...that i will fall in love that easily...i don want to rusht thing rite now...furthermore love is just like a passing cloud...who can tell me what the real meaning of love...one day u fall head over heel for her another day u don love her animore more..its tat love...its ridiculous how easily people fall in love thingking that they have find their "RIGHT" partner...haha...can they wake up their bloody eyes...the one for u isnt the one that u fall in love with her that easily...the one for u are normall the one u don expect it to be..everything is predestined..no point looking for the rite one..u end up hurting urself more...

From The Bottom Of My Broken Heart

"Never look back," we said

How was I to know

I'd miss you so?

Loneliness up ahead, emptiness behind

Where do I go?

And you didn't hear

All my joy through my tears

All my hopes through my fears

Did you know,

still I miss you somehow

[CHORUS:]

From the bottom of my broken heart

There's just a thing or two I'd like you to know

You were my first love, you were my true love

From the first kisses to the very last rose

From the bottom of my broken heart

Even though time may find me somebody new

You were my real love,

I never knew love'

Til there was you

From the bottom of my broken heart

"Baby," I said, "please stay.

Give our love a chance for one more day

"We could have worked things out

Taking time is what love's all about

But you put a dart

Through my dreams through my heart

And I'm back where I started again

Never thought it would end

[Repeat CHORUS]

You promised yourself

But to somebody else

And you made it so perfectly clearS

till I wish you were here

[Repeat CHORUS]

"Never look back," we said

How was I to know I'd miss you so?

2008-05-08T11:53:00.002+08:00

Why does i have this urge to just wack your face up whenever i saw u...

Im may not be a popular personnel among us n others...stuff that has happen may rough up the relationship among us...i may not seen u like what it suppose to be...i hate pretence n i hate people trying to gain sympathy from others...FUCK YOU!!!

it will never be the same on how i see on you...n it will never be the same...

2008-05-02T12:47:00.002+08:00

what a day yesterdae...i nv enjoy so much after such a long tyme...woo...wat make me most hapi is that i spent my time with the two group of ppl that is important to me...my family n oso the retrieveus..haha...

meet the retrieveus first..head down to lavender to had our so called afternoon lunch..along the way the batters,jokes on each other which has been long missed by all of us were alive...haha..we had fun making fun on each others...haha..disturbing one another...haha..after having our delicious meal..we all head down to bugis street..the gals need a shop while the guys need a break..haha...well..after the gal have enough of the shopping for now..i made my way to meet my family at the Bilal Restaurant at Yishun...it was Dad birthdae so called celebration

Head down to lavender again as Sis n abg Yunus is picking up adik frm training...wait for adik before heading there...Mak Uda n family n also busu was there oreadi...n yeah my cute little princess is also there...haha...becoming cuter n cuter...well my family n others has pamper her too much thats y she becoming more n more adorable..haha...realli cant get enough of her..

the food was great!!! but most important everyone had so much fun...its been long tyme since we had something like this....so much joy n smile was around the table..l like....haha...

after that head down to esplanade to meet the retrieveus again...walk around n hang around...haha...before we head home..it was nearly 12 when i reach home...haha'

its been a long time since i spent that long outside rather than at home....

but all this is only shortlived...back to camp n also back to JGL...hainz...duty after duty...weekend is burnt again..will not be home till tuesdae...suck ler....aniwae this year end scheldue is out..walao...pack!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not enough free time ler...ICSB package,Taiwan n etc....haiyoo...1 year 1 month to go...cnt wait!!!!!

whos laughing rite now...maybe it was crocodile tears n pleas back then...

2008-04-20T11:24:00.004+08:00

One word for this week = TIRED

Last wednesday nite off went to meet the retrieveus...frm clementi to amk..for a short meet up n dinner...its beng a long tyme since we hang out...miss u guys lots...

its the 2nd time we bump to each other..its oso the 2nd time we bump to each other while going the opposite direction...its the same hi n bye..i don noe wat heaven is trying to play on me...the short glimpses of u makes my day...even though it was wed the rest of the week was filled with smiles...i hope the 3rd time we bump to each other again..we can say more than the hi n bye..or even better if we bump to each other when both of us are alone...

i need more than ur glimpses n shadows..gd luck for ur exam...im rooting for u...ur birthdae is coming too...

mood = lost

2008-04-13T15:56:00.004+08:00

its been a tiring past week..from 16km march to back to back river crossing to others activities till the end of the week...im totally drained out even after this...really2 drained out..my ankle has been killing me..the pain of running is worsen...hope can bear wif it...

haven been going out that often nowadays..been spending more time at home than ever...nevertheless catch up wif ayam yesterdae..went down tekong park to play soccer wif him n fiq..hainz...only saf haven catch up with...member mahu kahwin pe...missing those time..hehe...

i miss u...its been so long since i heard frm u..even though we
only kip in contact tru phone it meant alot to me..we never met since we last
met at sentosa..i just hope to recieve ur msg like last time..where it can
accompany my lonely heart...

blog is under process
under maintenance

2008-04-06T15:19:00.004+08:00

im a proud brother yesterdae..my bro make his sleague debut yesterdae against home utd...even thought they lost..he still have a good game..it wasnt an easy game..but he make me proud...Finally his dream of becoming a soccer player has come true..

Final Score
Young Lions 1
Khairul Amri 26'
Home United 2
Indra Sahdan Daud 72', Shi Jiayi 77'

Line-up
Young Lions
30 Izwan Mahbud (GK)
2 Daniel Hammond
3 Ismail Yunos
4 Isa Halim (9 Sufian Anuar 65')
12 Khairul Amri (C)
13 Izzdin Shafiq (11 Sebastian Seah 83')
14 Afiq Yunos
17 Hariss Harun
20 Obadin Aikhena
23 Yan Minghao
26 Gabriel Quak Jun Yi (7 Zulfadli Zainal Abidin 63')
Subs not used: Hyrulnizam Juma'at, Hamqaamal Shah, Shahir Hamzah, Goh Swee Swee

The future of Singapore is optimistic with the induction of Izwan and Gabriel, where they made assured performances despite the result. A fixture like this could only aid their development for the long term.

Young Lions began with five under-18 players in the side- Hariss Harun included – after tactician V. Sundranmoorthy included Gabriel Quak and Izwan Mahbud alongside Izzdin Shafiq and Afiq Yunos, where they were to receive glowing praise at the end of the game by both their coach and captain.

A further chance occurred after the break, as Shi replaced Kornprom for Home. While Home were trying to figure out how to get past Izwan in the Young Lions goal, Lionel had to make a great stop to deny Khairul.

Home had the upper hand and so it showed, Shi hit a rasping drive over from 25 yards.
Juma’at, Shahril and Ludovick combined could have put Home 2-1 ahead, but after some goalmouth melee, Ludovick and the final attempt that was kept out by Izwan.

While doing nothing back home on sat..i came across on something that has really touched me...while we are young and innocent young kids we all dreams of stuff...wanting to becoming policeman,fireman, teacher etc...it was fun not knowing how the real world werk...no pressure to perform..it was just you...as we get on years...we was sidetrack..sidetrack to fame, money n fortune...and then everything change..where was the young and innocent kid back then?? it has change to a woman n man who is fighting to survive in this world of hypocrites and liars...where money is everything in this world to survive..where was the kid that dreams of becoming the policeman, the superhero etc...wat we want now is not wat we want back then...what have we got ourselves into? whom can we trust?? family?? there are stories bout family play each other out to gain something...frenz?? are all of them can be trusted?? partners in life??? y are the rate of divorce keep going up??? so wat can we do...sometimes we become one of them..liar n cheat to gain something..

i have enough living in this world of pretence...whom can i trust rite now?? there are things which i want to express out but there is no one out there...thiking bout expressing it here but then things will get into a circle of fire if i wrote it here..sometimes ppl cant accept the fact when someone wrote them...i have plans on wat i want to do in the future but then we don noe what will happen in the future..certain stuff are just fated to happen....wat i want is a gateaway frm here...thats wat i need..i need a place where i can start anew..not noeing the ppl the around me...mayb a change of enviroment will do me good...

mayb ppl are not noicing it...but i noe n see wat happen around me even when i wasnt here..enough of this...im too tired to follow my ignorant to this...it happen isnt it...wat i expected had happen...maybe its time....

i only hope u can send me msgs frequently like before...cause i need u..everydae im waiting for ur msgs...

2008-03-29T09:15:00.002+08:00

hey...its been a long tyme since the last update..haha...mane things happened...i have turned 22 on 22 march...haha..wat a nice number yeah..hhaha..thanx the retrieveus for the simple birthae celebration n oso the prezzie...haha..

scheldue after the deployment is out...what the fuck..no block leave or off siak..straight away back to ICSB training..wat the fuck...doesnt they noe that we need a rest...or are they not human after all...haha...

niwae things haven been rosy at home..i think i need to spend more time than ever at home especially spending time wif my lil sis...erm..thats wat im gonna do..spending more time wif her...and also extra attention on her...

thats all for now yeah..haha..see u on next weekend...after my body kene wacked frm training...hahaha

2008-03-17T12:50:00.005+08:00

woohoo..scheldue isnt the worse that was given to me...haha..i think its the best duty scheldue ever..hahaha...weekend didnt burn xcpet for the last week..haha..but cnt ask for more wat...haha...

Meet fie n maz at amk...just a casual meet up..had our food then head to the kpool...haha..was fun..of course...everytime wif them are full of fun n laughter...maz have come up wif a good idea bout the photo thingy..if eveyone things its ok then lets have it..watever it is..maz is in charge of this..hahaha..after pool then head somewhere to chill and talk for a while..its left 3 of us where those time were 4 of us..haha...but its ok..people are busy wif their life...but we still hang out as one rite...hahaha..before everyting end..haha...maz learn how to start the moto engine..haha..pity fie moto...haha..after quite a long tyme...at last she managed to start the engine...n how proud me n fie were of her...hahaha...oh yah i forgot..maz is quite gd in pool too..haha...we should hang out at the pool arena often..hahaha...confirm all the laughter n jokes will be X2...haha...

after that..meet up wif fiq n head down to jalan besar stadium..watch the young lions game..haha...adik was on the sub bench for the young lion even tough never play...he can consider is in the sleague..proud and envy of hime..hopefully his career in soccer can go far...haha...haha..after the game wait for him n head back home together..haha..

planning a big event wif fiq soon..haha..hopefully ayam n saf can make it...oh yah...fiq has ord...ORD OR!!! hahaha..now stress looking for job..hopefully my time wont be like that..haha...hopefully he can find a job quickly n then settle down quickly..hahaha...saf n yam are heading down to settling down type soon..so fiq must be next..n yah im the youngest among the 4..hehehe..the fantastic 4..hahaha

haha...don noe y when blogging this my playlist of song is frm siti nurhaliza..hahaha..walao...shes pretty..secong among jessica alba in my list...hahaha..but still cnt get over the marriage wif datok K..hahaha..horrible..of all person...hehehehe

browsing thru all the pics on my comp..the antic of saf n the gang..the "kiter MINOM dulu" moments wif aishah..those time during ITe n Deyi n others...brings back lots of memories..memories that will be hard to forget..these are the moments in life that i will keep close to me...as years goes by..n memories tend to fade..this moments become priceless as u cnt relive these moments again...we re all actors n actress in life..all of us are acting in our own movie...

all of us are not getting any younger..our aspiration n dreams change tru times..but only you wont change...how much the outer of u change..no matter wat the inside wont change...life is short...lets make use of all the time we had in this world n make good use of it...

those time late at nite..

we were as close as a family

Kiter minom dulu moments

moments like these are priceless

2008-03-12T19:51:00.002+08:00

*PRay* that my scheldue for the next duty wont so cock up...*pray* hear that lots of weekend burnt..hopefully it is a false dawn..hahaaha

aniwae few daes back was 10 march..maybe the latest update was near the date..and i felt that the last update was little bit harsh..after having a little talk wif my mates..i felt that it was a wrong in my part too...10 march was quite a memorable dae for me during the past..it brings back memories which i dearly keep close in my heart...thanks for all the memories...*smile*

i got a good talking to wif my mate realli...he give me lots of advices...even though the step to recovery isnt the smooothest i had to accept it cause im the cause of it...n i tink i will heed one of his advice..maybe i have to cut down on my social life little bit...its getting hectic in training n i need lots of rest...n he also tell me that..watever happen to others ppl i have to graciously accept..i cnt change the fate of other ppl...so after doing some soul searching i think thats hes rite...lets move on in life..watever junction we face in life..we have to accept n made a decision quickly bout that...

*sori for the last post*

its wasnt meant to harm other people..like i say..my blog is where i pen down my frustration,worries n thought...

2008-03-09T21:19:00.003+08:00

Went o fie sis birthdae yesterdae...at first thought bout overnight there wif the others but then thinking that i have not went home for the last 2 week..i decide not..aniwae mum keep asking me to go home..haha..so listen to him...hope fie understand...haha....

something was amiss n i felt that...i don wish to elaborate more..hope that certain ppl are willing to tell me bout...i don wist to prompt more...hopefully wat i thought wasnt the thing happening...

niwae..i hope that i get off the track in life for awhile..its been hectic wif stufffs,suprises n etc..i need an ample rest..hopefully getting off the track will revitilsed me n also changed my perspective in life..haha..

there are things which i want to voiced out but after the last incident..i wouldnt reveal that much...at least let me voiced out something...

im trying to learn out how to open up to ppl..ppl have been asking me to do that...but how ironic that when those time u need them the most...they wasnt there for u..maybe thats life...im starting to think that its useless trying..maybe its better to keep ur feeling intact...

i feel like drifting away frm here...let the wind take me aniwae they want...

2008-03-08T02:39:00.002+08:00

Its been a while since i have updated this blog..and its been a while since im back at home...as u noe bout the M.S.K thingy..i was one of the activated personnel...hainz..thats the only thing that i can say..hopefully things will end soon...just surrender lar...hahaha...

was suprised to hear bout that n wat happened...but watever happened or might happen i will give my blessing...*smile*

being away from home afeter a long tyme make me fully realized how important my family is to me...even thoughts its for a weeks..i never been so homesick before..the endless day not noeing when everything end can making me stress each dae...worrying bout how the family doing etc...

niwae...miss lots of social life due to M.S.K..haha...realli am..so have to get everything back to normal..haha...have plenty of rest and as well let my hair down...haha...lots of activities n stuff in my fuvking brain rite now...haha...only don noe wether they are times for it..haha...

to be continue....

2008-02-26T00:56:00.003+08:00

1 week pass veri fast..n 2molo will be back in camp and resume normal duty..will be ack to rigorous training and stuff...32km march is coming...n training for such is goin to be intense..aaniwae gain few kgs this past month...gonna have to start training n lose weight..haha...

aniwae...this 1 week..did lots of lazing around n going out..haha...lots of catching up were done..n oso celebrating hisham birthdae with the retrieveus..haha..n oso meet ayam and fiq..lots of fun when er hang out..its a pity saf didnt join us..hainz...hes busy werkin for marriage...haiz...cant wait to meet him up...haiyo...ayam oso have been busy...busy werking n saving..oso getting enganged in future...n oso fiq..have been stressin on werks after he ORD..looking at hows stress he is make me quite worry oso for my future...hainzz...n oso my sidekick who have just had an accident..haiyo...hes too ord soon...n oso worry bout wat next...oh yah buddy...scrap the bike just focus on getting car license...haha...hows fast time pass...it seems its was just yesterdae that we hang out at lucky plaza playing pool n walking around town...chatting till late nite....but now it will be priceless if we have the chance to meet up n do wat we normally does....

oh yah..im getting little bit vain nowadays..have boughts some skin care n face cream for myself..haha..some sought pf pampering myself and also take care of my skin n such...someone had said that i become so dark like org minyak..haha...have to take care of my skin n also myself...not getting any younger..so have to take care of everything so that there will be no hiccups in the future..

im thinking of goin oversea at the end of the year..for a chance to relax n shop..haha...don noe yet wether can fulfil this wish..must do lots of planning n such...destination haven think off..

i tink there are ppl outhere waiting to see wether i have made the rite decision or not..ibut watever happen i will not regret makin the decision..there will be no turning back...wat i want is there for grab wether i can get it is another matter...
lets see wat happen in the future...

im glad that u remeber me n sometimes msgs me..i noe that u have to keep ur bills down..aniwae...i have this feeling...n normally wat i feel never goes wrong...i hope it wont gp wrong this time...

2008-02-14T22:16:00.003+08:00

Cant wait for mondae...and everything is over..hahaha...will be granted a well deserved break after mondae..hopefully can celebrate hisham birthdae..hahaha...as usual this weekend is burnt...but have to be positive since its only the last few daes..hahaha...

Happy Valentines Days to all the couples n also HAppy Single Awareness days for the singles..haha...went down to cozway for a while..thought of getting something but there is nothing for me to get..hahaha...the last resort spend my money on food..treat the family pizza...hahaha...have been thinking of gettin a PSP..still cnt decide wether to get one...haha...see hor...cant be over indulgence...must realli think wether its important for me...hahaha...nvm...if i realli want it then i go n buy it straight away...haha...for now lets try to save yah...hahaha...im trying my best not to spend lots...trying to be thrity even though its hard..haha...

Oh yah..see lots of couples todae...hehehe...with flowers,prezzie etc..hahaha...so sweet lar some of them..hahaha...for just one day...haha...suddenly LOVE is spread around...hahahaha..spread the love yah!!! hahaha...

Neway...Mom is sick...worried bout her...hermmm...miss lots of stuff that goes on within the family since i have always been away all the time...must try to spend more time at home...thats wat i have always done..hahahahah

im glad that things have go this way...nv felt so relax for a long time...i hope that i will not have to look back from now on...gonna look ahead..wat past has past..hope that i will not have to go back to the past..certain things are kept well certain things have to be forgotten..i realli feel different after wat has gone tru...hopefully things will turn out good for me..hahaha..

its been a long tyme since i had receive ur msgs..maybe wat im askin for is too much...hoping and trying...

2008-02-09T10:25:00.000+08:00

hey...1 more week!!!! YAH!!!! cnt wait for everything to end..hahaha.. ithink i donated my blood alot this month..my hand is swollen wif all kind of insect bites...hahaha...1 more week...yah!!!

Hapi chinese new year to all chinese!! haha...this week my off is shorten than others..have to go back to duty todae..hahaha..walao...this week n week weekend is burnt leh!!! but the will pay back..hahaha..cnt wait to have my well deserved break!!

i kinda missing hanging put wif ayam, saf , fiq n others...hainx...they been very busy carving out their carreers...ok lar..i would always meet fiq on sundae for soccer but going out like last time..haiyoo...so long sia....

Arnd spetember i will be flying off to taiwan..hainxxxx...my puasa n raya is at there...i don noe which part of september but hopefully after raya...a sacrifice have to be made when u are putting the green uniform....haha...1 more calender to go..haha...then everything is over...

i recently bought the romantic princess dvd..haha..cnt believe i watch it finish within few hours..hahaha...a touching drama...i rate it 3.5/5...i love the show...hahaha..next is the coffee prince drama..but i see like got no subtitles like that...haiyoo...haha..

i nid to have a shopping week coming up...haha..must drag fie along..haha..but then the it fair is coming up soon leh...must save a little bit..haha...but i need to shop leh...hahaha...some sought like destress can?? haha...or a day at the beach?? guys planned something leh..hahahaha....

next month my birthdae month lor!!! hahahaha...so fast siak turnin march..hahaha...*wink2* u noe i noe..ghahahaha....but i think i will be away for my birthdae leh...due to the duty that is coming out..haiyo!!!! pleaz!!! can at least i have my birthdae...hahaha...

i feel so drag but refresh this week...drag when on duty refresh when off duty...hahaha...wat kind of feeling is that uh??? hahaha...listen to frenz having rlshp probelms..hermm i was in their shoe before...hahahahaha...oh yah valentine day is next week...worse im off that dae...anione want to celebrate wif me??? will you be my valentine?? haha...if only...if only!!!! hahahaha.....

*if only you could be my valentine..you seem busy this week..hoping to hear frm you...you realli light my daes if i hear frm you....*

2008-02-03T02:48:00.000+08:00

Its been a long tyme since me,maz n fie mit up...did it on sat..like i said its been a long tyme..so the batters n jokes flies around fast..hahaha..maz the one who got bully most of the time..haha..was great...even though we walk alot till maz complaining...i tink its the best moment i had for this week..haha...cnt wait for the next outing...its a pity aishah wasnt around..but its ok..study hard for ur exam yeah...we waiting for the good news je..hahaha...can do it my frenz..

Miss those time when we spend our time mitin up at amk etc...a casual last min miting most of the time..the milipede area...the "aku minom dulu" moments...haha..looking back at those time..those moments are precious..we ma y look and act dumb at times..but that wat makes it speacial..the theartrics of each of each of us...hahaha...

but as times goes by...we have lots of commintments..the time we spends get lesser..even though the time we spend get lesser..we try to kip in contact even though i seldom had the time..haha..hopefully since the busy period has ended..hope i can spend my time wif my frenz again..nv get sick of them seriously...everyday is something new...the batters jokes etc...

i hope that a brand new me will be more open up...people ask me to open up more...so that they can understand wat im goin tru...haha..thanks my frenz for the advices..will heed on them...i admit that it will not be easy..but i will try..maybe i haven been confortable enough wif people to share my problem with..haha...life move on so do people..hope can get things kick start my year...a new year...a brand new me...

some of the pics taken..

the long silence was killing me..but u safe me from the silence

2008-01-28T13:10:00.000+08:00

Y is it that people get easily mislead on the things that they see,read or hear..by doing this...miscommunication n and misunderstandin occurs that lead to quarrels and arguements...reading wat u seen in here doesnt truly show the whole pictures...so wat ur actions next have to wait till u noe the truth...pleaz...even a criminal have the chance to defend himself in a court..so do i...respect that...there are only certain line that i can let people to go tru...if there are overboard...then certain things have to be done...

all of u might tink that the reason of me breaking up is bout sabi...i hope that u hold ur conclusion for that...the reason that breaking up was the answer is that..it was coming too...u all may not sense that it is coming but the signs are there from the beginning..all of u might not noe that me n her have been constantl argueing n fights for the last part of the rlsph...the constant fight has lead to the change of atmosphere n the feelings among us...it taken a lot of tolls in me...till i cnt carry on that much...u will say tat fighting are part of relationship...i agree to that..but if the fight had make the feeling change then there is no point that we carry on...i given myself the last chance...but maybe the last chance wasnt suppose to be given....maybe this explanation are not gd enough..maybe it is not sincere enough...i would gladly explain it to u in person

to retrieveus:

I noe that all of u wants answers n explanation rite now...on y, wat happen etc...all of u must be dissapointed n angry wif me on things happening...if my presence among all of u would cause some unhappiness n uneasiness..i would gladly pull out from the group...i don want becoz of me all of u are not being urself around me...

to fie...

i noe that u r pissed off and also dissapointed in me..i have hint to u before that breakup was in my mind..but i tink u didnt take seriously...hope u noe n understand that when matters of feelings come..u cant force it...its ok..hope tat u can forgive me...hahaha..i noe that at ur back of ur mind..u cant wait to wallop me up rite...hahaha...i will give u the chance for u to wallop me up...hahaha...

2008-01-28T02:27:00.000+08:00

been blog hopping on ppl blogs..since got nothing to do...i read some post regarding the matter from some of the close frenz...some are hurtful werds...the way the sentence is put...i have this thoughts bout wat happen..the so called backlash...ermm...feel hurt by those werds but i expected it n knowing that if this ever happened this will end up...maybe our circles of frenz becums 1 after we were together...ppl expects us to be together till the end...these are wat ppl want...sori if i cant fulfil that wishes of all of u...like i say...u can only get to a certain distance that is the max...i noe lots of u are baying for my blood rite now...i hurt ur frenz deeply..u may changed ur opinion about me after this incident...someone says...that the thing that is infront of me..i reject it...what i want is the impossible...not all of u noe how i suffers those years back then...those years of yearning for her...not all of u noe how much she meant to me...no one...i mean no one had swept my feets of the ground then her before...i thought i have got over her when i enter the rlshp...but deep down somewhere in my heart...she lurks below it...lurking n slowly the feeling grew back...i given myself the ultimate last chance to do something bout it...maybe meetin her at sentosa change everything...every single bit...im just a human being...i made mistake...misake in everything i do and also in relationship...u say wether i remember how she ditch me back then...yup i remember every single bit of it...but i didnt blame her bout tat...i was too busy for her...maybe the way she ditch me isnt that appropriate...but we are still young back then...i never blame her bout it...

there's not much that i can do realli..its entirely my fault...everything that happen was because of me..so theres no much that i say will help things much...

2008-01-27T09:39:00.000+08:00

Things have been hectic the past week...with full deployment start...its a tiring job we had to do..but have to go through it after all..hopefully can go tru this safe n sound..its veri mentally n physically tired...will never enjoy doin this type of stuff...mosquitoes bites all over..just cnt wait to resume normal duties..haha..

I didnt expect things to turn out this way..n the way it turn out...i noe that i have lots of people regarding this such as my frenz etc...first of all...i would like to apologises to the peoples first that i have hurt them indirectly regarding this...u all may have ur own opinions regarding...if u like to tell me...i would be there to listen...but decision has been made n there is no way that it will be reverse...

i hurt her terribly..i realli doesnt want to end that way...but like i had it turned out that way...those time spent wif u r the memorables one...u were the longest i had in a relationship...im sori that i cant fulfil the promises that i made from the start..i noe sori doesnt help much rite now...thanks for enlighten me during our time together...i read ur blog..thanx for defending me...but we cnt change ppl perception..if they tink im like that..let it be...people only see from the outside they don noe wats goin on inside..inside each of small little hearts...

like i say i will be there for u where u need most...feel free to tok or msg me if u want...we can remains frenz rite...i would like to see u stand up n be the old u again...its easy for me to say..but i want to see u like that...its hard to forget bout the past n the things that has happen...but u have to move on..u still young n there are many things that u can do n achive...i hope u can achieve wat u dreams off...i would gladly help along the way...

for me its time for me to move on...try to achieve the goals that i have set...i let things turn to fate...if we r fated to be together then its good..yup i will try to werk hard for it...mabe what happened years n years ago..still engraved in this small heart of mine...i wouldnt want to dream much...i just hope it turn out the way i want it...maybe after these years...i still cant realli get over her....maybe i been trying to deceive myself that she no longer in me...

to be continued........

sitting down here...lavishing myself with haagen danz ice cream...not resting myself for dut 2molo...time pass veri quickly when u are enjoying urself...whole day cooping myself in the room with this comp...trying to relax myself and also entertain myself...hainz...todae is a silent day for me...haha...hp not that many msg leh..haha..feel so lazy going back 2molo...so so lazy!!!! anyway to skip my duty???

will it gonna be another long long tyme for me to settle down again with a partner??its not that i want to have someone straight away...i hope that that someone noes that i want her...my heart beat that extra fast whenever her name crops up...god noes siak!!! haiyo..........when on when....can she sense it...can she feel it...don want to jump to conclusion and most importantly put too much hope into it...

can i have her too?

2008-01-19T17:43:00.000+08:00

Its been ages since i had the chance to update...haha...things have been hectic for me...in terms of personal and others...even though there are time where i had the chance to recover from the fatigue..but the recovery period to me isnt enough...the things i went tru mentally n physically i don noe when i will be fully replenish...

things said...next week will be another turning point in my life...haha..will be going to protect some place...haha..have to be discreet...hahha...gonna be tiring..but my mind have to be fully prepared for it..this isnt any game..this is the real deal...haha...hopefully things will be alrite for me...

i don noe wat my heart have been goin tru this past few weeks...its been a topsy turvy moments...every seconds minutes n hours...my heart n mind go whirlwind thinking bout wat im gonna to do..wat decision i had to made...every decision made watever the answer is..the consequences is there for me to shoulder...

i have given myself this last chance for me to prove myself n fit myself back in this rlsp...this last chance i made a promise to myself will be the last ever....cause i don want both parties to be hurt in the future...both of us have been hurt badly this past few times...will time heal the scar n pain?? i realli hope so...if things doesnt end the way we planned..i hope it end in a positive ways...

the sentosa trip was memorable to me...the amazing race etc..hhaha..was fun leh...bump into that someone..hahaha..thanks that someone for giving my team the wrong direction..haha..and also for laughing at my team for not winning..haha...

Isnt this bear cute?? hahaha...see he sitting at the monorail....haha..have to tanx mrs beckham for giving me the bear n also the 100plus drink...haha..i didnt ask for it leh...haha...and nt forget an autograph by mrs beckham...haha..how fortunate i am..hahaha...don wori...the bear will follow me watever i go..haha....

thanks again...its been ages...n u look pretty much the same...*smile*

2008-01-06T14:26:00.000+08:00

since i will be goin for weeks n maybe more...i want to leave on a good note...rather than...going of in a bad note...

since my bills is cut...haven pay my bills lor for months...hahaha...my dear cant contact me..hehe...don wori...i will ask my sis to pay the bills for me...

take good care of urself when im away....mkn banyak2....enjoy ur outing wif the rest plus zyla n try to make her comfortable joinin the grp...n yah..most importantly enjo urself..2 weeks plus will past veri soon...gonna miss u lottsss

MUACKSSSSS.....

2008-01-06T14:03:00.000+08:00

Thanx to some human being next weekend is burnt for me...FUCK HIM LAR!!!! GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKER....see...cant go the weekend outing wif zyla n such...fuck lar...not only that...the next weekend is burnt due to guard duty...walao!!!! come on man....is this my new year LUCK!!!! FUCk lar....im realli frustrated wif the situation....furthermore...due to some of the lack of brain in the organization for giving us something to do that is impossible to be done over nite..i have to do a something without my lenses....fucking dumb cibai.....i have to be back in camp early todae...wat the fuck siak....this is worse then recruit...worse than animal....fuck them lar.....AAAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!

FIe hope that zyla gets along wif the others hor..so after she meet them...then she can mit me...the vvip...hahaha...realli2 hope to have her joinin us...haha...dh lar ginik kau...alik sorang...dh tkleh naik moto agi..hahaha...i want to plan a getaway soon...but where hor...bangkok?? KL?? haha...i want to try goin out frm singapore without my parents hor...hahaha...must be fun lor...but also needs a lot of money..haha...talking bout money....hainzzzzzzzzz......it keeps flowing like water hor...how to save siak...

there are some stuff wich i want to say but...i don noe how to put it....

let me think first...then i write when i came back frm my short holiday!!!!

2007-12-30T01:20:00.000+08:00

She's the angel in my eyes
Isn't she cute...haha..cnt get enough of her...Mother say she will overnite at our house tomolo...haha..but so sad that i have to book in lar...walao...stoopid hor..feel so like recruit...

In life there are always this concept where u r nothing if u r not a higher ranking personnel,someone wif a status etc...its suck when u noe that even though u r doing the rite thing but cnt change anything due to that the higher ranking has the last say...fucking life...why must it always be like that..it sucks...sometimes they are too many dumb people holding the higher ranking post..they are just too driven on them selves n seldom or rarely care bout others feeling...thats y i say...its suck..aniwae..i cant be bother entertain tat kind of dumb people..may they rot themselves in hell.....

Watever minutes left before the new year end...to tell the truth i realli want to forget bout tis year..i make certain decision which i felt that was ultimately wrong..n i think that i cant reverse the decision.....at first glance the year was looking rosy but at the turn of the year...everything goes down in spiral...hopefuuly 2008 could be a better ear for me..in terms of decision makings in certain matters...

Ever since the day you went away
And left me lonely and cold
My life just hasn't been the same
Oh baby no
When I looked into your eyes
The moment that I let you go I just broke down (down)

Baby if I ever get the chance to be with you again I would sacrifice
'Cause the feelin that I feel within no other man
Would ever make me feel so right

It's nice to smile when I get your phone call at night
But I'd rather have you here with me
Right next to me
And I miss the way you hold me tight

I've got to let you know I feel so weak without your touch
I never thought that I could ever love a man so much
I've gotta let you know I think that we are destiny
For you I'd cross the world for you
I'd do anything

That's right baby
I'm goin' crazy
I need to be your lady
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me
I'm in love with you (baby)

That's right baby
Im goin' crazy
I need to be your lady
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me
I'm in love with you (baby)

Break it down now I'll tell you what I feel
From the moment that I met you it's been so damn real
My heart seems to skip another beat every time we speak
Can't believe I feel so weak
Tell me that you really need me
And you want me
And you miss me
And you love me
I'm your lady
I'll be around waiting for you
Put it down be the woman for you

I'm falling so deep for you
Crazy over you I'm calling
Callin' out to you
What am I gonna do?
It's true no frontin'
It's you ain't no other
I can no longer go on without you
I just break down (down)

I've got to let you know I feel so weak without your touch
I never thought that I could ever love a man so much
I've gotta let you know I think that we are destiny
For you I'd cross the world for you
I'd do anything

That's right baby
I'm goin' crazy
I need to be your lady
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me
I'm in love with you (baby)

That's right baby
I'm goin' crazy
I need to be your lady
I've been thinking lately
That you and me, yes we can make it
Just ride with me, roll with me
I'm in love with you (baby)

ooo, crazy,(ooo)
lady (ooo)
lately (ooo)
Baby

This song is nice..haha...cant believe i have this song in my comp but never hear it before..haha..walaoleh...haha....feel like reporting scik 2molo..i just dont like the atmosphere in camp rite now...its filled wif egos n selfish people...cant wait for my 2 year to end...so i can say ORD OH!!!! haiyooo...1 year 6 month left...ghahaha...sucks!!!

2007-12-25T11:50:00.000+08:00

Hey!! feel like updating the blog..so here i am...things have been fine for me..except tat got some finacial crisis...haha...overspending this month..ooppsstt...mostly all the month i overspent..hahaha...a month left..then everything will be easy in Ns...cnt wait for 22 Jan...haha...aniwae Merry christmas ppl..sad there is no present for me ler...no one want to give me present..haha...its ok...

New Year coming lor...haha...anyone one to ask me out..hehe...lets party!!!! hahaha...come on guys...Zouk?? MOS??? hehe..i realli want to go ler!!!! Ask me out ler!!! Fie how?? mahu tk mahu..heheehe...St James pon ok lar...class ckit...haha..freedom..hehehehe...

i realli feel that i have been tied down and not letting my wings fly...its seem that i have been grounded to the ground...i don like being that way..and i nv want to be that way...i want to fly...fly as high as i can...feel the freedom like the bird has...

Its time for me to do the things that i want...and not letting other ppl has a say on it...its time for me...like i say...its my life...n my show...hahaha...

Lets us fly together....fly in the sky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-12-20T08:35:00.000+08:00

Its been so long this blog is updated...life have been great while not that great..full of ups n down...but wat most important is that there are always a solution to every problems...

Aniwae..i cnt wait for the new year...i doubts that i can blog during the new year..so might as well say my wishes here...n reflect what has happen in 2007...

2007 a year that things changed...bigger responsbility due to Ns commitment n others..a year of ups n down in terms of relationship...wat i take out frm this year is that i learn something that i doubts i will learn...in terms of National services etc..freedom has been lost during this time...been constraint wif commintment that need more attention than other stuff...watever happen duirng the last few weeks of 2007, its a year that i learn lots of stuff...

for 2008...i hope that i can finnish my army even though i will be ORD in 2009..hahah...dream on karim...but hope that life in army wouldnt be that hectic n stressful..haha..hope my family doing well...be a healthy n happy family...to have more time wif my frenz..theres a lot to catch up since i in the army...we missed those great time we spent outside...noeing that nothing can trouble us..those time we spent shopping hanging out...missed those time...all of us are tied down rite now..everyone has a partner..but i hope that we can make a day for ourself n let our hair loose...toking bout letting the hair loose...i want to have the feeling of goin to club..haha..anyone want to chio me out..haha..ST James or MOS...hahaha...must be fun...wee!!!for me...i would like to have more money to spend...heheehe...i have bought lots of gadgets this year..hehehe...hope that i can continue the trend..hahahaha...n also leanr how to save...i cnt seem to save my fcking money...hahaaha....

Wishlist for next year...

A new specs
PS3
New Handphone(sony ericsson)
Web Cam
Enrol for car license
Shirts n more shirts..

anyone can let my wishes some true?????

2007-12-02T13:49:00.000+08:00

GET ME OUT FRM HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THINGS AIN'T THE SAME ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

I WANT TO RUN AWAY FRM HERE.....

FAR FAR AWAY.........

WILL IT BE THE SAME EVER AGAIN...............

*shatterd hearts*

2007-10-14T15:48:00.000+08:00

Firstly...would like to say Selamat Hari Raya to all of U!!!!...sori for the lack of updates...i will try my best to update thios blog due to time constraint...aniwae..hope all of u are doin fine...

There are things that has made me wonder bout it...i admit that i have a carefree attitude..and these phrases are easily connected to me...

"I noe u don bother everything..."
"I noe u mane kesah...."
etc....thiese are some example.....

Ok...i think its getting of my nerve lately when ppl say these phrases to me...Its like i don care anything bout myself...hey...im a human being n i had feelings...i noe when i wan to bother bout stuff n when to sit down and think bout it...im not going to fret over small stuffs...cause it isnt worth getting all worked up over it...Sometimes ppl think they noe that person well since they noe that someone for long..but don deceived urself...u all don understand me at all...sometimes it is easy to put the blame on me cause of my character..and i felt that this have been happening too often lately...im a simple n direct person....when i had enough of it...i just simply get out frm there...im not going to fuss bout it...

Seeing family wearing the baju kurung the same color..ppl having fun during raya...make me more jealous..i nv think that i will get jealous bout ppl celebrating raya..cause i nv care bout it...but now my mindset changed....i cnt even celebrate it due to the commintment i had...i don even get to wear the baju kurung...missing the 2st dae of raya..was such a agony for me...it was something i hope i will nv go tru again..but...maybe next year i wont even be here during raya....hainz...wat to do...i cnt do anything..but hope for the best...

To that someone...i was utterly suprised to received ur msg yesterdae..i was down cause of missing the hari raya...but ur msg n werds lighten up my mood...those few msgs that were exchanged were priceless...thanx for creating a joke bout it...n not letting me to realli feel down bout it...thannx...was a supriesd but im grateful for it...wat i was hoping was someone else..but u came frm nowhere n lighten up my day..thanks a lot..it maybe just a msg to u..but it meant a lot to me....thanx....

2007-09-23T17:43:00.000+08:00

A week pass so fast...and within a few hours times...its back to camp n training start...hainz...1 week seems a long tyme...but the fact is...it just passes by you without u noticing it..hainz....hope things will pick up fast frm here...

Within this week...spend lots of times wif my dearest one...my dear,frenz,family...its been a long tyme since i can spend quality time wif all of them...i miss those moments where i spend times wif them...

Most importantly i spend quality times wif dear...our relationship was shaky...n using this time to strengthen it back..those time we had brings us back to where we were earlier in our relationship...no matter wat she is someone dearest n impt to me...i nv thought of leaving her n will never thought that...muacksss...love her n only her...

PICTURESS....

The Couple

Big Boss

The Glads

Dearest n Me

My dearest...ALWAYS N ALWAYS LOVE HER...

2007-09-15T22:09:00.000+08:00

HAaaacchhhoooo...my blog is so dusty...sorry for the lack of updates...firstly would like to say that the Fastin month has started...thats mean...another way for me to shed some more kilos off me...secondly...oh YEAH!!!!! i have P.O.P...haha..so proud of it...especially when mum came n put the spartan badge on my jockey cap...hehe...aniwae its not over yet...next phase of trainin will be tough thought...so must be prepare for it...

Oh finally bought the SECRETS vcd...hehe...the movie was touching n lovely even though the ending isnt nice...but the gal remind me of someone...hermmm...haha...even my bro says that...hahaha...aniwae...still gots lots of dvds that i bought that haven been watched...gonna use this time break to watch all of it...hahaha...

A week break is all i had...so gonna use this break wisely...recuperate is the key but oso has to maintan the fitness level...

its scary that thinking back now...its oready September...the year gonna end soon...even thoughts still had months left...not gettin any younger...have to think bout wat i want to do n also settle down soon...

thats it for now...will continue to update soon

2007-08-26T13:11:00.000+08:00

I Miss These Peoples............

Brothers

Peepz

I miss those moments when i can wake up late...watch soccer n went out anytime i want...i miss those moments when i gather wif my frenz every weekends just to hang out or play pool...i miss those moments when we stay till late nite camwhoring n jokes wif each others....i miss those moments when we hang out at each other house battlin the WInning Eleven...I miss my freedom...i miss my life....even though left 2 weeks more...it feels like 2 years...at least after BMT i could have more time then now....

I cant wait to do my shoppin...i want to get a PSP n PS3 n some clothes...Fie better make urself free soon...haha...u gonna be my chaffeuer...

Fasting month coming soon liao...hehehehe...2 more weeks too....hahaha...chialat AIT during fasting month....aniwae i was selected to be the combat medic...n i agree to...hahaha...wish can get 9 to 5 job....hahahahahaha...

i miss that someone...
Does GOD play a part in fate?
i wonder n hope he noes what im thinking

2007-08-09T15:24:00.000+08:00

Things aint going that well between us..Maybe u a rite...things seem different rite now..maybe u rite...we are having some communication breakdown rite now...but i think..we expect too much frm each other and the reality is that that can be so much that each of us can give....i don want to point finger saying whos is a fault..maybe fatigue n stress lead up to this situation...constant bickering doesnt help n tantrums didnt help either....

Like u say..its no use talking cause i will never change...and im not gonna to change for anyone except for the good of myself..yup..i like to keep things within myself...i do share my problems wif u once in a while but mostly i like to keep it within myself...if u don like it...i cnt force u to like how im run..its me...i want to be myself n i don want to change myself unnessecarlly...

I don mind u going out wif ur guy frenz..wether its by grp or only the 2 of u...its ur choice who u want to hang out wif n who u want to make ur frens...im not going to keep tight leash around u...i don want to control the amount of frenz n whu u going out wif...cause i noe..i would not like it if u start doing this to me...i given u the freedom...maybe u don like it...maybe u think i cant be bother bout u...ii cnt change the mindset of u if u tink like that...cause i someone who dont like to be ask n order arnd...frenz are important part of my life...

like i say to u upteem time..i have no time to enjoy time by myself let alone to enjoy time wif u n my frenz n family...thats y i try to hang arnd wif u n my frenz at the same time...u cnt expect me to spend time one by one wif my frenz,family n u...sometimes i sacrifices time wif my family just to went out wif u...its been a long time since i chat wif my mum n enjoy my time wif my family...

certain things only time can heal...i have to say this to u...there are other much more important things for me to think rite now rather than this...u can say waht u want n watever judgement u came up wif...i don mind one single bit..cause there are stuff n thats is much more important that need my whole attention rite now...i don want this to drag me down...making me not achieving the things that i have set up my target to...

i will never change my character or who i am...how i do stuff n how i look into stuff....thats me..accept me of who i am n don change me..maybe because i try to change thats y things become like this......

*to the retrieveus gang...i have uploaded photos that are well overdue at our multiply...hehehe

2007-08-04T20:25:00.001+08:00

Time past veri fast...left a month and 10 days befor my passing out parade...im actually lookin forward to it...i don noe wether im being posted out or stay in 6SIR..i would like to blog bout the experience i had the last few daes...certain things cnt be said due to some circumstances...haha...the last few daes we had the LIVE FIRING TEST n PRACTICES...was actually scared n nervous at first...there lots of stuff n rules to follow not following them could lead to disaster...so the 4 daes we had was actually veri hectic...im glad that i past even though the night firing didnt do that well...but im proud that i pass...aniwae...lets tok bout the past months in the 6SIR...actually...i didnt mixed along tht much..i cnt find the ppl that i can clique that much...the so called "mat yoyo" n the "chinese" cnt get along...i can say that my platoon is divided n not united...like wat the commanders say...we goona suffer when the field camp start...damn...i dont bother much toking about them realli cause im not connected that well to them actually...

Before the last book in...had some personal talk wif mum...i hate it when ppl looking down on my family...hate it when ppl didnt respect my family...im so ashamed that i have that kind of uncles n aunties...respect them?? i had none for them...they can jolly well kiss good bye for my respect...i was realli mad in the maximun mad when mum told me how she was treated during my cousin wedding...FUCK each n everyone of my uncles n aunties that i treat my mum n family like that...my family n i didnt own u a living...dont be so proud...i will make sure u will eat humble pie...each and everyone of u...maybe this year Raya...things will be much different...sparks will fly if i think that certain ppl need a wake up call...regardless of age or seniority...u want respect u jolly well earn it first...thought of skipping tis year raya but then...certain ppl need a wake up call...

ok...i have let out some steam....hehe..i need a break....a gateaway frm here...so to regroup n refresh myself...things have been hectic...the burden of responsiblity is weighing so much on my shoulder i don noe how long i can continue carrying it...sometimes how much u want to blank out ur mind frm everything...u actually failed to do it...im thinking of setting up a personl blog for myself only..don noe wether xanga or live journal better...for now just use this blog...hehehe....or yeah...hope my bro is doin well in vietnam for his AFF under 20 tournament....

-------------------------------random thoughts---------------------------------------

certain things have been goin on when im in camp..i actually brush it since i don want it to dampen my mood...i don noe wether if this things are becoming frequent when im in camp...but i don want to point a finger at any person or even tinkin bad things bout it...maybe im the bad one actually...certain ppl deserved better on how they were cared or treated...once bitten twice shy...i believe in this phrase...really believe on it...i think that phrase have become part of me...part of me so much...you cant force ppl...ppl cant force...n also certain things are left out to fate...

this was taken so long ago..hehehe...my peeps..

Thinkin and wondering....

2007-07-29T15:08:00.000+08:00

haccchoo...its been so long since this blog is updated..bit dusty...sori for the lake of entries due to the tight scheldue that the NS is...aniwae...life in there been ok...tiring both physically n also mentally...u don noe wat gonna happen to u in there...push up..pull up...etc...SOC...drills...etc...aniwaee...gonna be away for field camp in the next 2 weeks...hainz...at tekong sumore...donnoe hoes life gonna be when doing that camp...

Miss alots of stuff...n of course miss all of u!!!!

2007-07-08T15:56:00.000+08:00

Its been a long tyme since im updated..as u noe..i was away for 2 weeks for my PTP..its tough inside...the training, the military life...oklar..can get use to it but sometimes...u get frustrated all the time wif the punishment,orders and etc...when u r in there...firstly u will noticed that ur freedom has lost..u have no choice of wat u want to do in there...sometimes i felt that i just want to break the fur wall buildings so that i can get out frm there...its feel sux when u r inside realli...even on the book out dae u r not spare..they will drag their own fucking time..to drag our time....in a few hours time...i have to book in...i have no mood to book in lar...hainz...even though next week i will be book out on tuesdae night...i have to book in back by fridae night...for the BMT guys...n worse..we have to have another 2 weeks confinment...hainzzz....sad lar...2 weeks is a veri long time...i felt that i lost contact wif the outside world for the past few weeks man...don noe wats goin on around the country n the world...hainzzzz...its veri tiring...im mentally n physically fatigue right now..its gonna get worse when BMT starts...i bet we gonna suffer more this week...especially mondae n tuesday...aniwae...i have lost 5kg for the 3 weeks im in there...thats a lot..hahaha...thats the only positive thing that i have...thats a lot of stuff that i want to say but...i think rather not...there are others stuffs that need to tok bout.....

-------------------------------------IMPORTANT---------------------------------------

Yesterdae...i spent quality time wif my frenz n dear plus aishah BF...been so long since i met them...after so long since we last met or gather...the atmosphere wasnt
there much...like what fie say...maybe everyone is fatigue n caught up wif the tangled life of adulthood n expectation of life...even though there wasnt much the jovial outin that we use to had...seeing each n everyone faces makes me feel how wonderful persons n human being there are...im glad that i made n effort to make frenz wif each and everyone of them...cause i got no regret having them as my frenz...

I'm glad that my family is well...seeing everyone of them..inside me make me wanna cry that i cant be there often for my family...its sad that singapore had this policy...but i just had to go tru that 2 years which will be a long tyme for me....i have realli now treasure the time i had when im book out...i try to divide my time wif my family,frenz n dear...but sometimes u had to understand that the time is little...im one person which i cnt divide my self into 3.....

hainz...hope i can get tru everything that is thrown to me...i will P.O.P on Sept 14....cnt wait!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-06-13T21:22:00.000+08:00

Less then 48 hours more...i will be away for 2 weeks...this is like a FINALE post frm me...2 weeks will be a long time...firstly i hope that everythin will goes right for me...i will be doing a lots n lots of running,route march,push up,pull up n more of such stuff....woo...gonna be scream at n order at...gonna be bully by the ppl there...will be order n such stuff...will be treated like a dog..hahaha...damn..y must the guys enter NS...isnt fair ler...while the guys serve NS the gal just fool around..haha...enjoying their life ler...walao...

I hate my new look rite now...looks so round n fat n ugly...haiyooo..cnt believe i look so fugly..haiyo...feeling woory n anxienty...lots n lots of stuff in my mind...hope everything goes well ler n nuttin realli bad happen...hainz..n oso hope dear is ok ler..frm being away wif me n other things..hope to hear that u r ok when im in there..msg me dear...hehehe...

To FIE: aper lagi fie...shes waiting for u ler...tkkan tu pon kao nk aku settle kan...tkkan kao nk lepaskan dier..haha..hehe...cnt wait for u to introduce her to me!!! hehehe...we can plan a sumptouslous as a whole group...hahahaha...strike when the iron is hot...waiting for gd news buddy...hehehe...

haha...anieay...will try to post after i post out..haha..anyway...all the best people...pray for me when im inside...bye people...gonna miss all of u.....

2007-06-10T18:41:00.000+08:00

Its our 3rd months anniversary...time fast vey quickly ler....the last month was a testing period for both of us...it was my fault realli...*dear don argue* i nv treat her well..but after everything i still love her...no matter wat...*dear my love nv decrease ler..like i say to u it has increase to a certain percent*..aniwae...spent the last few daes wif dear...meaningful times spent together realli bonded us together...dear..lets hope that we can spent more anniversary together...love u dear...muacksss....

*shes mine

2007-06-09T20:32:00.000+08:00

In a fews days time...i will be goin tru a new phase in life..my feelings are mixed...Anxiety,nervousness,everything is mixed into one..

Last week...i realli felt blissed...really am...Im blissed that im surrounded wif beautiful n caring people...im glad that i meet these people...people who doesnt failed to cheer me up, make me laugh...i would like to say that last week was the most i enjoy much...

Not only me would be leaving for NS...Fie is leaving us too...my partner in crime will be in India for 3 months for NS...he would be leaving by the end of the month...3 month i wouldnt have my sidekick wif me...haiyoo...who gonna challenge me in pool..who can i irritate...hainz...y must good things have to end...

This will be random...

To DEAR...

My love for u has never decrease..i agree that i nv treat u well last time...we argue a lots..but u r the most important person to me now...i love u n always had...lets werk n pray together so that we can have a successful life in the future together...take care of urself when im away...i cnt bear leaving u....

To FIE...

WEI...take care of urself in India...learn the language n place before u go...im not gay here..but gonna miss u when u r there..keep in touch n keep us posted tru mails,blog n msn....n make sure u will be back for my P.O.P...u promise to attend my P.O.P..GD luck my frenz...all the best in the future n watever u doing..u have my backing remember that...IPIT!!!!!!!!!!

To Aishah

PA System....its a pity that we only get to hang out together for the last few months..aniwae...i enjoy every bits of our outing...sori if i always disturb u...don take it to heart...hahaha..gonna miss ur presense even though u r micro...keep in touch n hope we can go out 2gether as a grp in the future even wif out fie...GD luck for ur dance...hope u have a career in that aspect...u r talented dancer but like i say u need to practice more to be at the top...gd luck my frenz....

To MAZ...

The one whom i can say the cutest...haha...nv fail to turn up wif a smile in watever mood she is in..like aishah...its a pity tat we only start going out together..gonna miss ur smile n presense..i hope that u will find ur MR Right...don wori..u wouldnt be left on the shelves...gd luck yah...

To FAizah n YAna...

My only ITE frenz that i realli kept in touch wif...life in ITE will be dulled without both of u...i pray that both of u has a successful career...we go tru lots of heart pain in the 2 years in ITE...but i noe u r two are a wonderful person...for faizah...hope u discover ur LOVE...don give up on it..take me as an inspiration..somewhere outhere there is someone for u...for Yana...hope u get tru to pOly and achieved ur dreams...werk hard...so tat u can werk at SM entertainment....

Thats it for now...i will be posting for the last time next week...muacksss....take care people

2007-06-05T01:20:00.000+08:00

WARNING!!!!!!!!!!!

Watever things say in this post isnt related or link to anyone...Except me n my thoughts....

i cant be bother about counting on days left...what i noe is that its coming soon...so let me have the last few days to realli enjoy myself...i don want to occur problems or difficuties...haha..(but failed ler)...hehe...wat a problematic person i am...hehe...damn2..aniway whats life without problems rite..the feeling i had rite now is like ROJAK...everything is mixed inside..just hope things will turn out find wif me....*pray*

I say in the previous post that money makes the world go round n i realli agree to it..i was walking alone one day when something came up to me...Will u marry someone who u realli love but the guy is not wealthy where in the future both of u will quarrel over finacial stuff n hoping that ur love for each other will help u solve the problems or marrying someone u don realli love n u noe that in the future u will turn to love that the person n oso noeing that ur futue will be secured..*GUys any comments?? Pleaz...a sensible comment n leave a tag at my tagboard* it came up to my mind n kept me wondering....

To me...deciding which one is better is quite hard...it was like a toss of coin...hehe...to me...i would choose the second option...people may disgruntled or think that im a money face...but its just e decision n thoughts ok..please have the tendency to respect my decision...okok...

Explanation starts now...

Everyone wants to marry n end ur life wif ur MR or MRS Right..everyone wants their DREAM person to be the A* star list..the looks etc*..hehe...but in reality is there realli the DREAM person...The A*Star look that we are hoping and so ever...Marrying someone u realli love is something that all of us want..but how long can the love last? Eternity?? MAybe it will...Wat if problems starts pilling up, the stress,expectation etc..Quarrels will be frequent..Yes i agree that quarelling will be part of parcel in relationship...but what if the quarrels become frequents n the arguements is about the same thing all the time...wouldnt it will take a strain in the relationship...will the love still remain...As all of us noe that living is Singapore is not cheap...Even by having two person werking doesnt mean that the finacial burden will ease..Things are getting costlier...the standard of living are getting higher n we have to pay for it to enjoy it...Everyone wants the 5Cs..is that realli achievable right now...wat if u decide to have ur own child..the cost of it the education, the hosptial bills etc2..will in fact will maybe even drains one's bank account...Having ur own child is great..its like a gift from GOD..but when the cute2 stuff ended...n the reality sunk in...then we face the prospect of having to strech ur expenses...quarrels may cropped again..n will the love stills remain?? The Goverment help wif the baby bonus etc n others...how much they can help..its still up to the parents...u want the best for ur child...n mostly the best is always the costlier n the competition for it will be very tough...I love children...but in reality im afraid to have one...will i be able to give the best to my child..the best education, the best stuff, the best in everything...to tell the truth...sometimes im scared to look forward to the future...Like all Singaporeans..i honestly say i wan the 5Cs..or even more than 5...hainzz....

Y i choose the other option is that simple...its regarding the future....at first when u were for example matchmake to someone who can gurantee that u have a sound future...u noe that ur future is taken care off...its just that u have to werk to make sure that ur bank balance is always on tip top condition...ok..u may argue that u don love the person...but feelings can change overtime...once u spent ur time together u should developed feelings for each other....slowly n surely the LOVE will come..since both of u noe that ur future is well taken care of...to have a child is easy...u would be depending too much on the Goverment benefits...u knew that u can give to ur child the best that is avialable...even if the feeling of love doesnt develop between the both of u at first...by having a child...the feeling should develop watsoever...maybe at the start of it..u don like it...but there is a saying werk hard...enjoy later..both of u werk hard to have the feeling of love...and then u can enjoy it later...hehe...then the future for both of u wouldnt be that much of a obstacles...

For a conclusion...the decision made is based on the future...how n what u want to do in the future...how much u want to enjoy ur life when u are retire or how much u wan to werk till u r down to your bones..hainz..the future look scary...the competition for everything...wooo...how i wish i was a child which will never grow up...hahaha..

OKOK...enough of this...U just don noe wat the future is for u...who u gonna end up with...what will u be doing in the future...what u noe is that u gonna be a year older every year...Living in Singapore..u don have enough time to put ur leg up for a rest...if u were slacken..they are people out there waiting to grab up ur places..like i say money is the top things in everyone ming...not love...love can last u to a certain time..but money will last u longer...but being rich doesnt mean u have to be snobbish etc...u must noe the balance of everything..so that u will have a fulfil life...i want to live noeing that i have a fulfil life...noeing that when i leave the world...i knew that my children is taken care off...n if better...be like me...but for now...i don want them to be like me...i haven achieved anything yet...the 5 or more than that Cs...the everythings!!!!!!!!!!

Like i asked myself...does human realli knew wat love means...it is easy to say i love u to a person...but by saying that...does it mean that u meant it...isnt it nice to say to that person noeing that how much u meant every single letter in the world...hehe...looking around right now...love is just an ordinary word...u meant someone prettier or handsome u say u love them...if u want to fulfil ur lust u say u love them...noeing that u doesnt meant everything...isnt it sad...one more thing i realli suprised at is that how easy someone will fall to someone else after breaking up...sometimes...in a year..u can have like 6 or more relationship...what the hell...when people say i have been single for 5 years before...they were like dumbfounded..its like i have done the worse sin that can happen in the world...isnt the first cut is always the deepest...no matter what or who happen next...the cut was always n will always be the deepest...how much that wound can be heal...it will never be heal completely...hainz.....heehe...there is a song...that goes like this.."the first love is always the deepest"...buiek...okok...wat a long winded post....hehehe....

2007-06-01T16:08:00.000+08:00

14 days n counting....

Went out wif fie yesterdae...as usual..we were clueless on where we want to go..afer delaying the moments to decide..we made our way to City hall..upon reaching there..we were quite suprised on the number of peoples there..theres where i remember about the IT roadshow at the convention...we decide to head there since we got absolutely no where to go..haha..before we went to the IT convention..we actually went to the book fair which is located on the same building...oh yah...while we were walking at the crowded Citylink walkway..fie n i plan to enter Sumtec City thru Marina square...while waitin for the people to pass...there was this stupid old man walk beside me n just push me that nearly resulting me in falling down...i was suprised n didnt react..walao...luckily he walk away or not i would actually pick up a fight wif him...fucking old man...hehe...went to the IT convention...it was full packed..we cant even stop to one store..walao...mum wif prams..aunty n uncles..snall kids...walao...i was about to die there...we actually managed to get out from that place in one piece...that was a suprised....hahaha...aniwae...since both of us were hungry..we were deciding where to eat...Pizza Hut or Pastmania...hermm.....hahahaha..both of us as usual cnt decide...n we finally settle on Pastamania....we had our pasta,pizza n gingerbread..stomach were filled and we head ourselves to the pool...haha..ok i admit i lost to fie...5-4...hahaha...walao...he got new strategy ler...his guard of hounour strategy...hehe..after finishing our game of pool..we went to esplanade there to pass tru so clark quay...we made a pitstop to the shop there to meet our ex skulmate..the BOSS..Su Huan..hahaha....then we went to the clark quay coffee bean...hehe..our usual place to chill...after having our relaxation time there...we went to CBD to relax..while relaxing n chilling....we bump to...bump to...hahaha...ZAHIR N GANG!!!!..hahaha...they join us to relax n then walk2...hahaha..we were planning to go boat quay...n u know wat??? our legs brought us to Chinatown...yup right!!!!!! we were in the late nights at chinatown...hahaha...looks for a place to relax...found mac there...hahaha...n we sat n tok till 11 plus before home swit home....

Saturdae..soccer wif zahir n gang....while sundae...soccer wif syafiq n gang...walao...i realli like it...hehehe...im lucky that i have soccer as my hobby..hehe...my lil bro will always remind me that i should have been in any sleague cluborhe young lions..if i had went to the Sembawang training..haha...hehe...i skipped that called up not once but thrice to play at the street soccer court wif my frenz...hahaha...lil bit of regret there...but its ok...i still play soccer....soccer is part of me...place for me to let loose...forgetting all the troubles i had....soccer is like a dose of medicine to me...if im down or wat..i will have a game of soccer...haha...in secondary skools...my usual team will be compromising of Fie,me,Zahir n Viki...fie will be the diving goalie..but now he retired ler..haha...fun2...i cnt wait to kick the soccer balls...or even ur balls...

ok2..some of the pic frm yesterdae.....

PAsta

Coffee Bean relaxing

Zahir n Viki

ME n Koon

Fie n Me

Deyians n PROUD of it

Chinatown

2007-05-24T20:49:00.000+08:00

The reality has sunk it...22 more daes n i will be serving...all kind of emotion is stirring in me rite now...nervousness,anxiousness,worriedness n everything is in me rite now...haha..i tink how much u prepare mentally..it is still the same..its like u are entering secondary..everything is new...but theres a lot of differences...there are no teacher there...all of them are principal...hehe..i hope that i can make new frenz in there...3 months of suffering..that 3 months is quite long...but watever it is...the day is getting nearer n im getting nervous...hehe..cnt blame me...hainz...i noe i can go trough all this...die die must do oso...hehehe

Aniwae im gonna have a packed weekend..i mean fully packed..an outing n overnight wif the gang...n then the next dae...soccer in the morning before meeting dear in the afternoon...haha...on Mondae meeting wif faizah n the others..haha..whenever im outhere...i at least forget bout the worries n troubles i had..hehe..i don mind running myself down to the bones...i want to have fun the last remaining days...hahaha...

Aniwae...without money..ur life wont be easy...money makes the world go round...how much we want to deny..but it is the fact...we try to say love makes the world go round..but honestly..its money thats make the world go round...haha..y does ppl werk so freaking hard..because they want to earn the big bucks..the big bucks brings u high status...recognition..etc..ppl have more respect for u...when u open ur mouth ppl will actually keep their mouth shut n their eyes open because they now u r above them..hainz...its unfair really...when u see people born wif riches without werking hard..they can spend all the money noeing that their money will never dried out...they can have the lavish stuff anytime they want...while u were out there slogging ur hands n socks off..hainzzz...its unfair...but u cnt do anything bout that...

I have been feeling sick for the past few daes..my throat is giving me problems...my head is spinning like there is no tommorow..haha...whenever i have loads of stuff in my mind...i will get sick..haha...stress n pressure add up..hahaha..its much a burden then u expected...haha...im physically n mentally drained actually...my minds have been running wif lots of stuff....sometimes i hope that i can run away from everything..leaving in a new place where no people recognised me...starting everything a new..but im not a coward who run away...i try to solve all problems...but sometimes..certain things are beyond ur control...n thats where u tink of giving up...hoping that the matter will be solved but in honesty it will never be solved...

Yesterdae..it was the first time that i went to fie's house after 8 years of friendship..aniwae fie...thanks for the hospitality..haha..u have one big n interesting family..haha..his mum actually say to him that im well-mannered..hahaha.*blushes*..haha...must thanks my parents for bringing me up well...love u mom n dad...don wori..i will try not to dissapointed u in anything i do..hahaha...ur sis fie..hahaha...veri cute ler..IPIT!!! apple aku buat kan!!!!..hahahaha

Bout my mum...eveyone will say that they had the best mother in the world..hahaha..i oso want to say my mum is the best of the world..haha..seeing my mum do the household chores before going to werk without complaing n still has energy to goo to werk to help the family fiancial income..i realli took hats off to my mum..she werks everydae n the everything at home..cooking etc...even on sundae...haiyo..sometimes i feel bad not not helpin her...haha...sometimes she called us when we are out wanting to noe where we are..just to be sure...i don mind that..cause i usually kol her telling me where i am...sister..its u lar...everytime make mum worried..please kol her when u r out n tell where u are...especially when im in the camp..u r the eldest ler...hehe..u don wan mum to worried everytime bout u rite...haiyo...haha...

There is a movie "tentang bulan"..its in malay..n the show is vout 5 frenz....going thru thick n thin together...veri touching movie..haha..at first i thought the movie was kindeer stupid but after watching..i find the story veri meaningful..haha...like i say..i regarded friendship more than anything else...haha...*someone will get angry after reading this* but..u can have everything in the world..but ur life will be kind of dull without frenz..frenz add color to ur life...no matter how much u want to disagree...its true...sometimes u spent more time wif ur frenz than ur family..u share ur secret to ur frenz than ur family members...u learn a lot tru ur frenz...the good n the bad...u will proctect ur frenz even is they are wrong n wfter that give them a tounge lashing noeing that they will actually listen...hahaha...

Dear..we went tru lots of rocky situation this past months...hope that we can last till the end...

When the problem is about ur feelings..u cant predict what will happened...feeling are veri complicated stuff...its like a pendulum..its swings one way to another...

Behind those smile..only i noe what goes tru the mind

2007-05-18T22:58:00.001+08:00

The previous to post about frenz n lovers doesnt n I mean it refer to anyone in particular!!!!!!!!!! Pleaze don jump into conclusion n start utter stuff which isnt true!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was a thought n remain a thought!!!!! Like i say again refer to no one in particular!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-05-18T21:35:00.000+08:00

Humans being have different characters..different thoughts about life..its funny when u face different kind of people that sometimes can be embarresment to u...haha..i cant understand what teenagers and young people are thinking of nowadays..the attitude of the youngster nowadays can say to be a disgrace to the society...i not condemend any human beings but what i find the attitude and behaviour of the youngster nowadays veri actrocious...i saw n face different kind of youngsters who totally make a fool of theirself...its not what they do..its how they behave...i don care bout their attire or wat but the way they conduct themselves...its sad realli...they think what they do are cool but they don noe that their actions is some sought destroying their future...haha...i cnt came up with any idea why the youngster behave like that...

Its it their parents??? But u cant blame everything on the parents..Parents have their own jobs...they have to support the family..n its up to the children to accept their responsibilty..when they fail to do ur responsibility...they blame on their parents...then the when the shame thing came..they say that their parents are to blame..they wouldnt accept the blame...n the shame were throw to the parents...

Y cnt the youngster thinks that their actions will make or break their future...an act of folly can destroy the future...haha...they arent shaming themselves but also their parents...not only that they are the future of singapore..if they cant conduct themselves well how will singapore fare in the future...so youngster...please think before u do something that can destroy...

2007-05-18T12:44:00.000+08:00

"Aku... tak pernah menduga...
Begini hebatnya... duka lara bila berakhirnya cinta...
Mengapa sukar untuk ku melupakan mu...
Namun mudahnya kau... membenci diri ini..."

Have been loooking for this song..kesal from hyrul anuar for quite a long tyme...haha..walao...veri long leh...i want the song...it realli touch my heart..hahaha..does anyone have this song..can sent me??haha..any good souls outhere?? hahahaha

Time will pass soon...everytime u blink it brings u closer to another day...another day...another chapter unfolds...haha..

No OFFeNCE TO PEOPLE here...this is a thoguht...n i just want to jotted it down...it points to no one in particular...haha..

Its hard when u have to choose ur frenz between ur spouses or lovers..its even hard when u noe ur bonds between ur frenz are build over the past how many years..its hard when u one ur spouses or lovers to appreaciate or accepted ur frenz...there will be either one of them will dislike each other...thats where dilemma set in...u don noe who to side...haha...haiyo...dilemma dilemma dilemma....sometimes u will wonder y they just cant get along...hahaha...sometimes..u r too close wif ur frenz that ur lovers or spouses that u r spending too much on them rather than them...n if u didnt hang out wif ur frenz..then u gonna miss the happening stuff...hahaha...haiyo2....okiok...enough of this...

sometimes i wonder...wonder n wonder....how strong is my patience??? i admit i am someone who is veri2 patient...and i meant it...but sometimes i just wonder how long will the patience last...or has it ended that i didnt notice it??? hahaha....im dragging myself and body to battle everytime...sometimes im too wounded after each battle that i cant realli stand up...but i put on a brave front..n heal my wounds to myself...

i have been waiting to do this...

I want to sit by the sea..watch the sunset and sunrise....have the wind past flew me...spending that moment wif someone who meant a lot to me...closing my eyes noeing that i have spend that few minutes n seconds wif that someone...n no one will take that memories from us...hahaha..okok....enough of dreaming...hahaha...i don have time to do all this...

SMilEY

2007-05-16T21:57:00.000+08:00

Hey...hows eveyone doin?? been a long tyme since i have updated...so lazy to update..hahaha..aniwae...times is passing veri fast...n the day is coming nearer n nearer...haha..im gonna miss a lot of stuffs when im in there...lets see...what im gonna miss....

17th June- Adik Lion's City Cup
17th June- Pas Wedding
25th June- Dear birthdae
and many many other stuffs....

Aniwae last sundae...went out with fie n the gals...accompany him to buy his shoes n then plan want to chill arnd town...after getting the shoes...went to bugis banquet to eat..food wasnt nice thou...then aishah..panicked..her Hp didnt werk...so all of us make our wat to..to AMK...where else..haha...ask the ppl for spare phone for her to use first...hahaha..then went to MAccafe to chill n then went to the area near Deyi to relax...sori guys had to went home early...but still had the fun..cant wait for our outing again..

some of the pics...

The gals

Them wif Fie

US

N of COurse...ME!!!!!!!!

2007-05-11T13:55:00.000+08:00

The waiting game is over....

Finally after such a long wait...i have recieved the dreaded letter..hahha..on of all date..they sent it on our 2 month anniversary...thankz mindef...hahah..ok...i will be entisted on 15th June...will be in the 6 SIR Infantry..haha...hainz....im surely gonna missed a lof of stuff...Guys keep me posted eh..hahaha....gonna miss my dear so much...hainz...i more worried bout her...who gonna look after her...who gonna to listen to all her complain...hahahaha...haiyo dear...must be strong...hainz...gonna miss my family too...my mum nagging...the cooking...the laptop...the bed....the SCV...i cant watch my man Utd game oreadi...Gonna miss adik's Lion city Cup tournament....walao....gonna miss irritatin FIe...goin out wif him n the others....haiyo.....*cry*

But...Lets get it over n done with...must prepared myself mentally...come on karim...u can do it...hahaha...woo...can realli2 lose a lot of weight..hehhehe...i like...

aniwae...during the dae...went out wif fie...hehehe..take his clothes...n he do some shopping n of course...a rematch....hahaha....ok...before that...we had our lunch...a huge lunch...i cant tell wat we eat due to some unforeseen circumstances...haha...after that...when to town to look for his bag n new shoes..end up get the beg only...i cant believe my frenz so choosy ler..kalah pompuan....Fie..aku check kat e bay for the shoes nanti...hahahaa...

For the rematch..my dear frenz was so pumped up...but of all..he lost...hahaha...i admit that i was lucky..i won 5-3..overall i won...hahaha..what do i care..i won...aggregate i won 4-0...hahahaha...walao fie...mcm ni...aniwae...my dear frenz....was so clever....he was doin his best to distract me..n one of it..he throw the freakin chalk n it when in the pot...hahaha....walao...damn dumb rite..n he still can laugh loudly somemore...fie2..hahaha...

after wat to PS...chill at the starbucks..hahaha...usual i camwhore n he tok to his beau..hahaha..one of his pic i took is R-RATED...anione one to see??? hehehehe...tag me...hahahahaha...after that...home swit home...thats whne i open up my letter box...the letter was neatly stacked....1 more month for me to enjoy...hainzz....

SO dear Frenz...ask me out....lets party n enjoy ourself...hahahahahahah....

Happy...n always am....

2007-05-08T21:30:00.000+08:00

Lets post on things that i have done on the weekend..will this be a long entry??? erm...suppose so..hahaha..

On Sundae...meet up wif Dear..its been quite a long time since we went out..Each of us been busy wif our stuff...Meet at town at 12..early seh..Play pool...hehe...Dear become better oreadi..yup the game was tied 3-3..hehe..(kasi chance lar)..haha..but dear realli have improved..maner tahu dlm diam dier play pool..aniwae..we head down to marina square to eat..dear has this barbecue chicken rice while i have the nasi lemak..n yeah...u see my beloved dear is a chicken addict..u can separate her frm chicken..n she try to be kind to me n she gave me a piece of the chicken...

HAHA...see what i mean...my ikan bilis is bigger than the slice of chicken that she gave to me...hehe..haiyo...cant complain lar...aniwae..i ask dear to get me a lemon barley...hehe...but she get me a winter melon barley....hehe..walao..i have trouble swallowin down my food..i don like the drink ler...but still have to drink lar..die2 die must drink...After went to raffles place..though of getting the donut...at the donut factory....walao..the queue was horrible..so shelve out the plan...n we head to raffles place to chill...along the way...dear got into her merajok moood...hahaha..but things settle quite easily..hehe..we took some pic along the way n dear oso make a music video..im trying to convert the file so that i can edit it...n then put it here...haiyoooo...

After that..head to mac to had our dinner..hehe...n then went to the CBD area to chill...wow...thats where millions of dollars are make every day..how i hope i can werk there..a stressful life..but worth it..haha...we chill there..i had the most wonderful time wif her..

The time i had wif her was the wonderful...even though it was a long day..but i didnt feel tired at all...i realli love her..if she doesnt know that..its gonna be our 2nd month soon...we had our ups n downs...but we prevail through it..we still got a lots of thing to make the relationship to become a better one...am i happy right now??? YES...i have no regret having her as my dear...i don noe wether she had any regrets having me..

On Mondae....

Accompany fie to alter his shirt..his shirt for the 25th MAy..the V.I.P getting everything done..hehe..after that head down to marina square to get something to eat..Had the new KFC thing...walao..so small ler..it was the first time we sat down for a long time to eat..it was like 45 min plus..hahaha..after that..walk2...fie had aim a shirt n jacket at quicksilver...hehehe...fie u getting it soon...don wori..hahahaa..after that...play pool at marina square..quite ex ler...we had so called our tournamet...n i won 3-2...hehe...overall i won him 3 times oreadi...at 3 different venue...Lucky Plaza,AMK,MArina Square...hahah...or damn..he will ne fuel up for the rematch this thursdae..hahaha....

thats all for now...hehehe

2007-05-02T20:21:00.000+08:00

Sori for the lack of update...Nothin interestin to update...that is y...as u people noe..im waiting for my enlistment letter..the waiting game is tiring..i heared that some of my classmates n friends are going in either in June or July..hainz..when is it my turn...

To my frenz..thanz for the advices...my relationship with dear is ok rite now..everything settled...arguements are just part and parcel of it..everything is going well..so lets hope that no major arguements will occurs in the near future..

The past few daes n weeks...been meeting some of my ex classmates n oso my closed frenz...its been a long tyme..but everything remains the same..the jokeness, the crapness, the sincererity among us nv change...hehe...

Frenz play a big part in my life..even thought i don have that many friends..there are still others who have been wif me all the time..i value friendship a lots...something that i learnt..n not take that for granted...We cant survive in this world without frenz playing a part in ur life...

25th May outing is on...i hope that everyone who was invited will be present..its an important day...if u cant make it...let us noe earlier....please don back out last min...isnt the nicest thing to do...so lets make this an speacial occasion..it is a speacial occasion aniwae..hehe...

2007-04-24T21:27:00.000+08:00

Maybe saying the truth isnt the best option after all..
Maybe being honest wouldnt come good all the time...
Who say everything will be lovely dovely all the time...

Hainz...things are not going rite for both of us...i don noe wether its me or her...i did wat she asked me to..to be honest n try to open up myself...i did wat i thought was the rite things..supposedly to strengthen our relationship...but i didnt expect it to be like that...I admit that i say things that are harsh...something that you didnt expect to hear...but its how i feel...i thought we can werk things out..but...now i realli understand the meaning of silence is virtue...

I noe that u r stress at skool..u finding it hard to cope in school..but i have always be there for you...I on the MSN veri early..msgin u...calling you...i will listen to ur problems n help u...did i ever deny u from complaining to me?

I admit that the past few daes i been some sought neglecting u..but did i still msgs or call u? i did..ever i did is all for u...even if i fuckin tired i will still called u if that wats u wan...cause i wan u to be happy...i don care how tired i am or how sick i am i will do anything that make u happi...

Myabe its my fault..or NO...its my fault frm the start till now...im too bo chap to care bout her n wat u think...i would not feel any sadness or grief since im someone who cant be bother wif stuff...its my fault for trying to make u happy all the time...its my fault...its my fault for asking u to concentrate on ur skulwerk rather than me..u tink its easy for me to do all this things...its sacrificies which i made for u...FOR U...

Im helpin u in the future to no be too much dependant on me..maybe i should have said it...but im going to serve the nation soon..i would be away n busy..there will be little time for us...its not easy for me...tell me honestly which boifrenz in this world wouldnt want to spend all the daes wif his gerlfrenz?? i want but i cant..time isnt on my side...secondly i can't have my Hp bill to be 100 bucks all the month...i didnt blame u..thats y im trying my best to cut down on my sms n called...even that..i cut down on my expenses....i can't every month forkin out 100 bucks on my bill...at least i did msg or called u....

I love u so much...does u noe it?? u only noe how bo chap i was...or izzit too much that ending up to be like this...this is our first major arguement...lets see how we came out from this...lets see n what unfold between us....

U want a break...i will give it to u...u do wat u deem is rite to u...if the unexpected happen...even thought it wouldnt be easy..i will agree to it...

To my friends reading this...any advices?

How am i feeling??? i should feel nothing...should i....thats wat u want n say...
thats what u get...my heart feel numb...its a revisit of the past gloomy years i had in the past..

2007-04-19T21:37:00.000+08:00

Dear has been bugging me to update my blog...haha...come on lar..wat can i update bout..haha...but if i never update my blog then..i have to face the wrath of her..hehe..and she in this moment of time "kuat MERAJOK"..haha..so better be safe than sorry...hehe..they say when woman are angry...its worse than all the natural disaster combined into 1...hahahaha

I just have this feeling that the enlisment letter would come sooner than later..hainz...i don noe wat my fate will be..but i have to be mentally prepared soon...hainz...cnt bear to leave my dear all by herself..hainz.....pity her ler...

Before i got enlist...there are several thing that i would like to do..*hint to dear*

1)Spend more time wif dear
2)Go to Jurong Bird Park
3)Sentosa
4)Hang out wif my GUY FRENZ till LATE HOURS
5)Having a picnic
6)Catch a midnight movie
7)Go ZOO

Dear..how??? any of this 7??? sad...i think dear now busy wif skool..where go time for me...sob2...hainz..

*When will my result slip posted to me??*

2007-04-16T20:32:00.000+08:00

Since i got nothing 2 do...n kinda bored...i will do something meaningful todae...Everyone has got their own wat they called bestfrenz or watsoever..the one whom u noe that can cheer u up when u r down...hehehe...im going to blog bout my blood brother Shafie..don get anything dirty up ur mind...haha...hehe...

Shafie was the first person whom i spoke to when i enter secondary school..i still remember his center parting hair...hehe...we just click from that moments onwards...i
still remember how much he complain when he had to sit wif khairunnisa..hehe..we even got the same CCA...that was the band...anyway i left the band early while my dear frenz stay n lend his service to the band for 6 years...there was an incident during the band..we had to choose an instrument....There was one instrument which me n him go for...which was the EUphonium..but only person can get the instrument...since i was the smaller one..fie didnt choose the instrument..he get the bigger one which was the bass before he went to the Tuba...haha..aniwae along the way...we had a major arguement...its not between us..we didnt speak to each other for few months...before both of us relented...we even repeat our N level together...it wasnt agree...it was a coincidence..we pass our N level on our 2nd attempt...haha...During sec 5...we had memorable time...the S-cube...the MAths periond..hehe...even thought we didn't do well for our O level..but we didnt feel that disappointed..haha...cause we had a Distinction each..hahaha....Aniwae...we even went to the same ITE together...haha....

SHafie...is someone who u can crack up jokes to..veri honest n frank..someone who u can gurantee will give u a "wake up" call if u need one...8 years oreadi i knew him..haha..so long ar!!! haha...someone who i can irritate...hehe...thanks hor FIE!!!!..hahaha...

* Hope kao n Yanty go all the way!!!!*

2007-04-10T21:26:00.000+08:00

1 Month oreadi...its our 1 month together..Meet dear at causeway point..try to help her wif her new laptop..but cnt understand the Vista settings..sori hor dear...haha..aniwae...try to suprise dear wif a suprise celebration...but then he lighter didnt werk...damn...but nvm...someone startin skool 2molo..herm...i tink little time for me oreadi...sad...aniwae...my dear frenz SHAFIE..has declared Himself to be ANTI-SOCIAL oreadi..haiyoo...he don want to go out wif me oreadi!!!...hahahaha..

When will the letter come?????

2007-04-03T22:21:00.000+08:00

How have everyone been? Result for the last term is out soon.I forget my passwerd so have to ask Freddy Ching to reset it.Aniwae not looking forward to it..as i have no intention to enter POly for now.So watever outcome i will be satisfied n happy noeing that i did my best for all of it.OK...Dear get into RP.WEll done..Proud of u..haha

Love In 30 Days

Read this, sad but touching.....

Daniel: I guess we are the left overs in this world.
Jasmine: I think so.. All of my friends have boyfriends & we are the only 2 persons left in this world without any special someone in our lives.
Daniel: Yup! I don't know what to do.
Jasmine: I know! We'll play a game.
Daniel: What game?
Jasmine: I'll be your girlfriend for 30 days & you will be my boyfriend.
Daniel: That's a great plan in fact, I don't have anything to do for the following weeks..

DAY 1:
They watched their first movie together & were both touched in the romantic film.

DAY 4:
They went to the beach & had a picnic... Daniel & Jasmine had their quality time together.

DAY 12:
Daniel invited Jasmine to a circus and they went to a Horror House.. Jasmine was scared and she tried to touch Daniel's hand but by accident she touched someone else's and they both laughed..

DAY 14:
They saw a fortune teller down the road and asked for their future. The fortune teller said: "My darlings, please don't waste the time of your lives... spend your time together happily." Then tears flow from the teller's eyes.

DAY 20:
Jasmine invited Daniel to go to the hill and they saw a meteor... Jasmine mumbled something.

DAY 28:
They rode on a bus and because of the bumpy road, Jasmine gave her first kiss to Daniel by accident.

DAY 29:
11:37 pm
Daniel & Jasmine were sitting in the park where they first decided to play this game...

Daniel: I'm tired Jasmine... do you want any drinks? I'll buy you one.. I'll just go down the road..

Jasmine: Apple juice would be fine,thanks.

Daniel: Wait for me...

20 minutes later... a stranger approached Jasmine.
Stranger: Are you a friend of Daniel?

Jasmine: Yes, why? What happened?

Stranger: A reckless drunken driver ran over Daniel & he is critical in the hospital.

11:57pm
The doctor came out from the emergency room & handed out an apple juice & a letter to Jasmine.

Doctor: We found this in Daniel's pocket.

Jasmine read the letter which says:

Jasmine, this past few days, I realized you are really a cute girl & I am falling for you.. your cherished smile, your everything when we played this game.. & before this game ends, I would like you to be my girlfriend for the rest of my life. I love you, Jasmine...

Jasmine crumples the paper & shouted..

"Daniel! I don't want you to die...I love you... Remember that night we saw a meteor? I mumbled something.. I wished that we would be together forever & never end this game. Please don't leave me, Daniel... I love you, you cannot do this to me...

Then the clock strikes 12

Daniel's heart stop pumping.

THEN IT WAS THE 30th DAY...

Always love your loved ones & show them how you feel before it's too late.. You will never know when they will be gone from your embrace.. If you were given a time to bestow petals of everlasting compassion & love to your love ones, today is the day. Love them while they are still here...

To be love is a speacial feeling. U just knew no matter how much other peoples hate u,in the back of ur mind u noe that u r being love by someone.To fall in love is the sweetest things but it is also the hardest things. Because u love that speacial someone so much, u try ur best not to do anything that hurts her. Sometimes u tink what u do is rite but when she flares up, u don noe wat happen. Sacrifices is something that are useful n important in a relationship. No matter how much ego both person had, someone must give in. No matter wat the status u had in ur relationship, u have to sacrifices quite a lot. No one will had a perfect boifrenz or gerlfrenz no matter how much they brag bout the person. Because when u r so much in love the person is perfect for u...when u get tired of that particular person u say that she or he isnt wat u looking for....its an irony..but u have to accept it.....

2007-03-29T22:07:00.000+08:00

Firstly i would like to thank my dear buddy,Shafie,because on the way home..i find out that i dropped my ear piece..i was in the state of panic because getting a new year piece would cost me 68 bucks...so thanks to SHAFIE!!!!! i don noe wat he say bout the SCDF motto...something2 rescue..hehehe

HerO ShafIe

Aniwae...bout todae outing...i was waken by a kol from fie asking me to accompany him to ssdc...yup..he was nagging me to wake up early cause its 1pm oreadi n scared that i will be late...n the result...he came LATE..hahahaha

I want to lodge a complain to MS Y@#$%...

I was a little bit upset that i was being left out frm the place when someone kol SHAFIE...its not like i jealous or wat...cause last time he lodge a complaint when i msg my dear...hainz..if msg nvm leh..this one CALLED!!! not once but 3 times...hehe.."hello darling..." hehe...worse...he complain that he regret goin out todae wif me...because he had to postponed the conversation...Yelah..sapelah aku ni!!! lain kali aku berbual ngan batu je...haha..so sad siak...hainz...

By the way...todae i don noe wats get into my frenz..he was so active..he was laughing so loudly at suntec which i proclaim "ketawa penyamun"...n yeah..as usual head down to Mccafe..we had double chocolate...haha..as usual...we come out wif something new..u can visit his blog to find out more..haha...like i say todae he was so active...hehehe...there are a lot of things that he does which can be undescribeable...hahaha

Pe case ni??

Hp org tu bunyi lagiiiii!!!!!!

2007-03-27T13:31:00.000+08:00

Anyone noes the new coding for blogger!!! the XML coding!!!!!!!!!! shit man!!! Y must they frm HTML coding to XML coding!!!! anione noes XML coding can teach me????

2007-03-25T18:19:00.000+08:00

Wow...my blog is so dusty ler..beem so long since i update.. been kinda off lazy to update..aniwae will update on the two outing i had this week...

First(22 MArch)My birthdae...

Went out wif Dear for the whole dae. We watched Stomped the Yard..hehe..nice movie..of course nice dancing..after walk2 around head to vivocity to eat...sadly there was no Pizza Hut or Seol Garden that Dear crave for..haha..so the next thing...Fig and Olive..hehe..

After that..walk around vivo for a while before heading to Bugis..hehehe..You all must be wondering what my dear got for me..hehe..wait hor..i tell..wow..so frustrating ler..want to upload the pic oso so slow..damn!!!!!!!
*since uploading the pic so slow..will upload the pic later*

Oh Yeah..Dear got me the new Adidas watch..haha..will upload the pic soon..hehehe..

24 march

Outing with the guys..been so long since the whole of us met..ayam n her gal..saf,me,fie..fiq n aishah..had a lot of fun with them...haha..

n btw Dad has stopped smoking!! haha..so happy...finally he stopped smoking after so long!!!!!!!!!!

2007-03-21T22:44:00.000+08:00

Its been a long tyme since i update my blog...haha..life been pretty normal..everything remains the same not much of a difference..IN a few hours tyme...i will be turning 21...Getting older as the year goes on..haha..wat to do..I am a young adult now..Let me recap on the wonderful stuff i had when im 20 years old...erm...erm..erm..erm...i had a wonderful tyme spend with all my frenz...erm..erm..n of course having my dear by myside...wat i wish for my 21st birthdae...hmm...firstly i wish that my mum n dad well..they have been feeling sick wif illness n stuff...i want them to be healthy...Secondly...i hope my family well...my DEAr too...n yah...my dear got into RP..haha..jealous aku..3rdly...wow..so many wish uh..haha..n my last wish..i want to be happy...sometimes u get caught up wif stuff that u forget to be happy n smiling...Once im enter NS..everything will changed..i hope that i can still be happy n smiling..

Went out wif dear todae..was supposed to meet at town..but while on the way to town..changed the meeting destination to City Hall..Dear was late..haha..LATE!!!!...walk around before we head to marina square to eat..after that head to town..play pool...haha..3-0..of course lah i win..hehe..wei..playing wif her is so difficult that playing wif Fie leh..hehehe...sorihor Fie..after that walk2 awhile b4 heading home...whenever u spend ur time wif ur love ones..it seem that the time moves fast..hainz...

2molo..will be celebrating my birthdae wif dear..im realli grateful n thankful that dear is willing to spend time celebrating my birthdae wif me..THank You dear...

To DEAR..

Im SOri that im dissapointed u....sori.......im a bad bf.....................
*sori*