Monday, January 28, 2008
Y is it that people get easily mislead on the things that they see,read or hear..by doing this...miscommunication n and misunderstandin occurs that lead to quarrels and arguements...reading wat u seen in here doesnt truly show the whole pictures...so wat ur actions next have to wait till u noe the truth...pleaz...even a criminal have the chance to defend himself in a court..so do i...respect that...there are only certain line that i can let people to go tru...if there are overboard...then certain things have to be done...
all of u might tink that the reason of me breaking up is bout sabi...i hope that u hold ur conclusion for that...the reason that breaking up was the answer is that..it was coming too...u all may not sense that it is coming but the signs are there from the beginning..all of u might not noe that me n her have been constantl argueing n fights for the last part of the rlsph...the constant fight has lead to the change of atmosphere n the feelings among us...it taken a lot of tolls in me...till i cnt carry on that much...u will say tat fighting are part of relationship...i agree to that..but if the fight had make the feeling change then there is no point that we carry on...i given myself the last chance...but maybe the last chance wasnt suppose to be given....maybe this explanation are not gd enough..maybe it is not sincere enough...i would gladly explain it to u in person
to retrieveus:
I noe that all of u wants answers n explanation rite now...on y, wat happen etc...all of u must be dissapointed n angry wif me on things happening...if my presence among all of u would cause some unhappiness n uneasiness..i would gladly pull out from the group...i don want becoz of me all of u are not being urself around me...
to fie...
i noe that u r pissed off and also dissapointed in me..i have hint to u before that breakup was in my mind..but i tink u didnt take seriously...hope u noe n understand that when matters of feelings come..u cant force it...its ok..hope tat u can forgive me...hahaha..i noe that at ur back of ur mind..u cant wait to wallop me up rite...hahaha...i will give u the chance for u to wallop me up...hahaha...
1:10 PM
been blog hopping on ppl blogs..since got nothing to do...i read some post regarding the matter from some of the close frenz...some are hurtful werds...the way the sentence is put...i have this thoughts bout wat happen..the so called backlash...ermm...feel hurt by those werds but i expected it n knowing that if this ever happened this will end up...maybe our circles of frenz becums 1 after we were together...ppl expects us to be together till the end...these are wat ppl want...sori if i cant fulfil that wishes of all of u...like i say...u can only get to a certain distance that is the max...i noe lots of u are baying for my blood rite now...i hurt ur frenz deeply..u may changed ur opinion about me after this incident...someone says...that the thing that is infront of me..i reject it...what i want is the impossible...not all of u noe how i suffers those years back then...those years of yearning for her...not all of u noe how much she meant to me...no one...i mean no one had swept my feets of the ground then her before...i thought i have got over her when i enter the rlshp...but deep down somewhere in my heart...she lurks below it...lurking n slowly the feeling grew back...i given myself the ultimate last chance to do something bout it...maybe meetin her at sentosa change everything...every single bit...im just a human being...i made mistake...misake in everything i do and also in relationship...u say wether i remember how she ditch me back then...yup i remember every single bit of it...but i didnt blame her bout tat...i was too busy for her...maybe the way she ditch me isnt that appropriate...but we are still young back then...i never blame her bout it...
there's not much that i can do realli..its entirely my fault...everything that happen was because of me..so theres no much that i say will help things much...
2:27 AM
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Things have been hectic the past week...with full deployment start...its a tiring job we had to do..but have to go through it after all..hopefully can go tru this safe n sound..its veri mentally n physically tired...will never enjoy doin this type of stuff...mosquitoes bites all over..just cnt wait to resume normal duties..haha..
I didnt expect things to turn out this way..n the way it turn out...i noe that i have lots of people regarding this such as my frenz etc...first of all...i would like to apologises to the peoples first that i have hurt them indirectly regarding this...u all may have ur own opinions regarding...if u like to tell me...i would be there to listen...but decision has been made n there is no way that it will be reverse...
i hurt her terribly..i realli doesnt want to end that way...but like i had it turned out that way...those time spent wif u r the memorables one...u were the longest i had in a relationship...im sori that i cant fulfil the promises that i made from the start..i noe sori doesnt help much rite now...thanks for enlighten me during our time together...i read ur blog..thanx for defending me...but we cnt change ppl perception..if they tink im like that..let it be...people only see from the outside they don noe wats goin on inside..inside each of small little hearts...
like i say i will be there for u where u need most...feel free to tok or msg me if u want...we can remains frenz rite...i would like to see u stand up n be the old u again...its easy for me to say..but i want to see u like that...its hard to forget bout the past n the things that has happen...but u have to move on..u still young n there are many things that u can do n achive...i hope u can achieve wat u dreams off...i would gladly help along the way...
for me its time for me to move on...try to achieve the goals that i have set...i let things turn to fate...if we r fated to be together then its good..yup i will try to werk hard for it...mabe what happened years n years ago..still engraved in this small heart of mine...i wouldnt want to dream much...i just hope it turn out the way i want it...maybe after these years...i still cant realli get over her....maybe i been trying to deceive myself that she no longer in me...
to be continued........
sitting down here...lavishing myself with haagen danz ice cream...not resting myself for dut 2molo...time pass veri quickly when u are enjoying urself...whole day cooping myself in the room with this comp...trying to relax myself and also entertain myself...hainz...todae is a silent day for me...haha...hp not that many msg leh..haha..feel so lazy going back 2molo...so so lazy!!!! anyway to skip my duty???
will it gonna be another long long tyme for me to settle down again with a partner??its not that i want to have someone straight away...i hope that that someone noes that i want her...my heart beat that extra fast whenever her name crops up...god noes siak!!! haiyo..........when on when....can she sense it...can she feel it...don want to jump to conclusion and most importantly put too much hope into it...
can i have her too?
9:39 AM
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Its been ages since i had the chance to update...haha...things have been hectic for me...in terms of personal and others...even though there are time where i had the chance to recover from the fatigue..but the recovery period to me isnt enough...the things i went tru mentally n physically i don noe when i will be fully replenish...
things said...next week will be another turning point in my life...haha..will be going to protect some place...haha..have to be discreet...hahha...gonna be tiring..but my mind have to be fully prepared for it..this isnt any game..this is the real deal...haha...hopefully things will be alrite for me...
i don noe wat my heart have been goin tru this past few weeks...its been a topsy turvy moments...every seconds minutes n hours...my heart n mind go whirlwind thinking bout wat im gonna to do..wat decision i had to made...every decision made watever the answer is..the consequences is there for me to shoulder...
i have given myself this last chance for me to prove myself n fit myself back in this rlsp...this last chance i made a promise to myself will be the last ever....cause i don want both parties to be hurt in the future...both of us have been hurt badly this past few times...will time heal the scar n pain?? i realli hope so...if things doesnt end the way we planned..i hope it end in a positive ways...
the sentosa trip was memorable to me...the amazing race etc..hhaha..was fun leh...bump into that someone..hahaha..thanks that someone for giving my team the wrong direction..haha..and also for laughing at my team for not winning..haha...
Isnt this bear cute?? hahaha...see he sitting at the monorail....haha..have to tanx mrs beckham for giving me the bear n also the 100plus drink...haha..i didnt ask for it leh...haha...and nt forget an autograph by mrs beckham...haha..how fortunate i am..hahaha...don wori...the bear will follow me watever i go..haha....
thanks again...its been ages...n u look pretty much the same...*smile*
5:43 PM
Sunday, January 06, 2008
since i will be goin for weeks n maybe more...i want to leave on a good note...rather than...going of in a bad note...
since my bills is cut...haven pay my bills lor for months...hahaha...my dear cant contact me..hehe...don wori...i will ask my sis to pay the bills for me...
take good care of urself when im away....mkn banyak2....enjoy ur outing wif the rest plus zyla n try to make her comfortable joinin the grp...n yah..most importantly enjo urself..2 weeks plus will past veri soon...gonna miss u lottsss
MUACKSSSSS.....
2:26 PM
Thanx to some human being next weekend is burnt for me...FUCK HIM LAR!!!! GOD DAMN MOTHER FUCKER....see...cant go the weekend outing wif zyla n such...fuck lar...not only that...the next weekend is burnt due to guard duty...walao!!!! come on man....is this my new year LUCK!!!! FUCk lar....im realli frustrated wif the situation....furthermore...due to some of the lack of brain in the organization for giving us something to do that is impossible to be done over nite..i have to do a something without my lenses....fucking dumb cibai.....i have to be back in camp early todae...wat the fuck siak....this is worse then recruit...worse than animal....fuck them lar.....AAAARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!
FIe hope that zyla gets along wif the others hor..so after she meet them...then she can mit me...the vvip...hahaha...realli2 hope to have her joinin us...haha...dh lar ginik kau...alik sorang...dh tkleh naik moto agi..hahaha...i want to plan a getaway soon...but where hor...bangkok?? KL?? haha...i want to try goin out frm singapore without my parents hor...hahaha...must be fun lor...but also needs a lot of money..haha...talking bout money....hainzzzzzzzzz......it keeps flowing like water hor...how to save siak...
there are some stuff wich i want to say but...i don noe how to put it....
let me think first...then i write when i came back frm my short holiday!!!!
2:03 PM
